Catch Cristina Flores on the #PirateBroadcast™
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[00:00:00] Introduction: Welcome to the #PirateBroadcast™, where we interview #interestingpeople doing #interestingthings. Where you can expand your connections, your community, #kindnessiscool and #smilesarefree. Let’s get this party started.
[00:00:10] Russ Johns: I love this. I love this story, Cristina. We were on the #PirateBroadcast™ at night, Cristina actually was able to join. Yes, I had a cancel, life happens and that's okay. And Cristina says, I can join you. It's like here you are Cristina. Good morning. How are you?
[00:00:31] Cristina Flores: Good morning. I am so good. I am so excited to be here because I have watched so many of your episodes and I'm like, oh, he's got such good topics, I'd love to get on here.
[00:00:43] Russ Johns: Yeah. Welcome aboard. Welcome aboard to the #PirateBroadcast™. We, we were talking last night with Tracie, my producer, and we were talking about this idea. We all have the opportunity to do something amazing. And it sounds like you're doing something amazing and helping people learn about getting their mindset in alignment with their interview skills and some of the things that they need to do to get back in the workforce or just get unstuck. And we were talking about my hesitation. And I was being completely transparent and which I typically am. I'm still hesitating over launching some courses. I've got some courses lined up. I have some people in that are like, Russ, just pull the trigger, get this out the door, get it started, do this thing. And as always, the people that are not doing it usually have an excuse. Either you do it, or you have an excuse. There's no other way. So how do we get unstuck, Cristina? What adventures do we need to think about?
[00:01:46] Cristina Flores: From what I've seen from your work, what I think it is that you are almost a perfectionist in which you do. I think it holds you back from that starting point. And I think it's for most people, the same thing, you get nervous about what is the response going to be? What is the feedback? Am I going to have a no? And the thing I tell people is that you can't be scared of the no. You have to think of it as an opportunity to give someone the chance to say yes, an opportunity to give someone a chance for your course, for example, an opportunity to give someone the chance to take your course to find value in what you're doing. Because right now, I think you're scared that you're not going to provide the right value or find the right audience. And that's not the case. The right audience will come because you have that value. You've had how many variances throughout your life, you have a unique perspective. So it's not so much of who am I doing this for as more of who am I going to help with this? Because if you've got this message and you've got these thoughts, most likely someone else's too, and they're saying, where can I find this? How do this, how do I progress myself in that next step? And automatically saying no for someone else, you're holding yourself back, but not just that you're doing as disservice to everybody because who else can gain value from what you've learned. If you're going to do something on, for example, how to start a podcast. I've never done a podcast. I would love to learn how to do a podcast, be your premier audience. And I'm sure how many people on LinkedIn are thinking, I don't know how to do a podcast. I don't know where to start. I don't know how to advertise it. I don't know where to go next, but if you're providing that course, how much value and how many people do you think you will impact?
[00:04:03] Russ Johns: I suspect a few.
[00:04:06] Cristina Flores: More than a few. I have sprawled through LinkedIn and I have looked at so many people on the different topics and podcasts is one that is very hot, right. So I'm sure that if you said, Hey guys, you know what, this is what I'm working on. What questions do you think you would want answers to? What would bring value to you? Then it takes away the fear of am I doing the right information? Am I bringing the right value? Because you're already having that feedback before you even start. So there's no fear in moving forward because you already have your answer.
[00:04:45] Russ Johns: I love that. Luis says that's me right now, Russ. And he says, awesome info. You. Just turn my Thursday into a new Monday.
[00:04:57] Cristina Flores: That's amazing. And see, that's why I love what I do. And I'm sure you love what you do because helping others get that courage to do what they want to do.
[00:05:07] Russ Johns: I love helping people. Jenny Gold in the house. Good morning. Cristina and Russ, thank you so much for being here, JD. Hey pirates.Oh, Elize i s here. Elize, send prayers out to Elize. She hurt her shoulder. She was injured and she's she's working on healing. Any extra prayers you got send her your way. So just get there. The amazing thing about this journey, and I have been teaching people on how to podcast, how to broadcast, how to live stream and helping people doing it for them, producing their shows, producing radio shows even, radio television I've been involved in radio, television and broadcasting for years. And sometimes we get stuck in this cone of knowledge where we think if I know it, everybody knows it. And that's not the case. It's sometimes people just need a roadmap or a guide to say, this is what we need to do. And this is what we need to do next. And it's pretty, pretty simple process if once you know how to do it. And when you don't know how to do. It's really great to have a guide that can help you and instruct you in and point the way to your success. And I think that's what I need to start owning more of and just say, Hey, I know this stuff. If you want to go here I'll help you along the road.
[00:06:37] Cristina Flores: And not just that, I think we have a problem as a culture with understanding our self worth because of our negative mindset. So realizing that you are skilled, you have had experiences, you need to take out any kind of language that takes away from. And we are so guilty of using it, especially me as a female, as a person that is not meeting where I thought I would be originally. I have noticed that I've used words, like just, should, hope, and these are all words that we're so used to using, but what they do is they take away from everything you do. So when I say I'm just doing what I'm supposed to be doing, then everything I'm doing emcompassed doesn't sound like I'm doing anything amazing. So one of the biggest things I get is I'll say, oh, I've got this podcast. Oh, I'm going to be in a book later. I've got these clients, I'm doing this opportunity. And I got this degree at the same time and people say, Whoa. How did you have the time to do this? Why are you doing all this? How can you do all of this? And the first thought that comes to my mind and I catch myself in the process. This is what you do. This is just what I'm doing. So this is who I am. And so to me it doesn't seem like anything big at all, but to everybody I'm talking to, they're like, whoa, you're doing this. How, when, where, what are you doing? Like, how did you get to this point? And I'm sitting here going, I just did. I connected with people. I took the initiative to get my degree. I don't see anything grand in it. And that's our problem. As a culture, we are told this needs to get done. Now you need to be a high achiever. You need to be accomplishing these goals by this age, and as this sex, you should be already here and doing this. And that's just not the case. So the biggest thing that I have told my leadership clients, my coaching clients is that. When I work with you, the biggest, most intensive part is going to be retraining that mindset that has been established this entire time, because we have a certain script that we've been given right this whole time. And when you're given it and you hear it and you hear it over and over, you're going to believe that script. So for example, I have a a mom who I coached who had absolutely no confidence didn't believe in her self worth because she'd been out of the workforce for 14 years. And all she would tell herself is I'm just a mom, I'm just doing this. I should be doing this. I should be a hundred percent ready. With that, when you're saying just, supposed to, like I said, she took away her entire value. And then when she said that hundred percent ready, even if she was 95% ready for a position, she didn't apply for it. She had absolutely no confidence because when she looked at that requirements, she said, I don't have this skill and because I don't have this skill, I'm not a hundred percent ready, so I'm not going to apply. Whereas, a man who has had a lot told to him that you're meant to go into leadership, you're meant to do this. They have the appropriate self confidence, so when they see that same application and they have the exact same skills as are, instead of seeing, I don't have, they see, I have this, and this. I know my skills. I know I can learn the rest of this. And I know that it's expected of them. To learn the rest of this. So they apply for jobs that they're 25% qualified for because they have that confidence that they're going to learn that skill that the company knows there's going to be a learning curve and just don't have the same confidence because we are expected to do everything right. We are expected to be in the home, we are expected to work, we are expected to take the kids places, and that's just our culture. And that's what we've been told. So when we're doing these eight things multitasking, we don't think that it's anything big and what we're actually doing, even when we're not in the workforce, we're doing project manager. We're setting up our kids. We're doing time management. We're setting up everybody's schedules. We're making sure we're not missing any deadlines. We're women that work from home, our bosses in their own, right. They run their home. That's their company and they have absolutely no confidence. That's why I hate the phrase stay at just a stay at home mom. I can't stand it. I tell everybody to take it out of their vocabulary because there's so many amazing things they do. They just don't know it because they don't give themselves that credit. And when you've had so much practice at not giving yourself that credit. It takes a long time to bring it back. And so with my coaching client, we literally did a four-hour session, like intense four hour session, on what words to take out, how to build that confidence, what mantras to use, how to stand when you're doing those mantras. And then we did another two hour session because she told me my problem is that I can't get the examples. That wasn't her problem. Her problem was she didn't have the confidence. In the examples she was giving because she didn't give herself credit for everything she was doing. She hadn't amazing examples. She had an interview the next day and didn't get the job because they needed someone with more Spanish experience, but they offered her another position on the spot because of the confidence and of the skills she had come because of the positive mindset she had.
[00:13:26] Russ Johns: That's an interesting thing that you would say that because I think, especially when I hear somebody say I'm just a mom that just infuriates me cause you don't realize how important that is. And you think about transferable skills, like you mentioned, project management, managing multiple things all at once. All of the things that go into being a caregiver and a parent and an organizer and all of the things that transfers the business all the time. And there's just really no reason why we should diminish these skills because there are transferable. They are nurturing. They are really important in a lot of business organizations. And I think more and more I would like to see a more weight put on those skills and more influence put on those skills because they are so important. And I really applaud people that decide, hey, I want to stay at home. I want to be with my kids. I want to help raise my kids. I wanna raise them the way I want to raise my kids. And I think it's absolutely important job. And when your kids go off to school or they move out of the house or do you know adult things now, then take those skills and move them into something else you're doing. Start a company, start a job, whatever it happens to be. So we talked about getting the competence and using those ideas of, let's remove some of the words from our vocabulary. Let's create a few mantras that build up our confidence and so give us some examples of that Cristina. How someone in that situation develops their competence? Is it just pointing out the great things that they've done and the accomplishments, or is it something more to that?
[00:15:13] Cristina Flores: There's way more to that because when you have believed something for so long, Anything, someone else is going to tell you that contradicts that you just think they're lying. That's why, if you have a spouse and they say, oh, do I look good in this outfit? And they're like, yeah, you look great. And they're like, shut up. Because even though they look great in that outfit and your spouse will always love you and think you look amazing and you'll always be the most amazing looking person to them. You don't have that confidence to believe what they're saying. You don't have that confidence to believe that what they're saying is right. And that you deserve that compliment and that you own that compliment because you don't give yourself the credit. One of the things I tell my coaching clients and I especially did with her was I made the mantra I was made for this. My experiences have led up to this point. There is nobody better for this role than me. And I made her say it at least 10 times throughout the day. And when she said it, she had a stand in a superwoman pose and I tell people it's awkward and I laughed at myself the first week. I tried it before telling my coaching clients the entire week I laughed at myself, but it works. That pose just gives you that confidence and reiterating that information, saying it enough times you believe it. Another thing I told her is I picked specific words she couldn't say, and then I picked a specific mindset she had to use. And every time she used a specific word I told her she couldn't say, she had to put a quarter or 50 cents in a jar. And she had to keep a tally mark on a piece of paper. And that is such a huge visual. In the four hours, that we had that session, she said one of those words out of all of those words, 13 times. To get to that zero point, that zero balance, not even to get to a positive mindset to that zero balance. She had to say that mantra 91 times. For the 13 times that she did it and I had her do it with her son, so it made it more like a bonding experience and it was important for him to get that confidence, too.
[00:17:41] Russ Johns: That's a great idea. I love that idea. There's certain words that we should just eliminate from the vocabulary altogether, should, try, but. Some of these words that are just diminishing in our value overall, and it is a mindset and it is practice and it does take some effort.
[00:17:59] Cristina Flores: A lot of effort in catching yourself. One of the biggest phrases I take out of my vocabulary is bad day and I don't have my kids say it, either. You can ask them. I had my daughter come over and she was pouting and I was like, what's going on? She goes, I'm having a bad moment. I'm like, okay, do you need a second to calm down? And she's like, yes. And then she comes back and she's hey, you want to draw? I'm good. And just changing that mindset from a bad day where nothing is going to come back right to a bad moment that you know is fleeting.
[00:18:38] Russ Johns: Jenny says can't is another bad word. She says, mindset is so important. Thank you so much.
[00:18:46] Cristina Flores: It really is. And the biggest mindset change that I tell everyone, is that anything you go into, whether it's, hey, I'm stuck. I don't know if I should start my podcast or whatever, or, hey, I'm going into the workforce and I haven't been in there forever or, hey, I'm starting a new leadership role and I don't know if I'm going to have that immediate authority within my team. And that respectability is you have to think of everything as a learning experience and then doing that, you take away any stigma for them. I'm gonna fail because with learning, you're gonna have hiccups. It's inevitable, and that with the learning, that you're not going to start at the top. Nobody has right? You know that there's going to be that process. So there's no stigma and no thoughts of how am I going to waste my time? Am I not doing the right thing? Am I not going to get the value out of this? So all of those little barriers that you put on yourself, just by changing it from, I'm going to try and do this new thing that scares me too. I'm going to take on this new learning experience and I'm excited about this new learning. Yeah. It, 100% changes everything. And Michael Jordan actually, I think, had this mindset because if you think about it, he missed 9,000 shots, 9,000, but he knew that there would be practice and he knew there would be learning. He knew that he would become successful. And in 2009, he was inducted into the hall of fame. He missed 9,000 shots and was inducted into the hall of fame. Why are we scared to take one shot?
[00:20:40] Russ Johns: Yeah, just take, just keep taking them until you learn, you grow or you succeed. You don't fail until you quit.
[00:20:50] Cristina Flores: Exactly because that's what I say too, is that the only time you fail is whenever you don't take that opportunity that you want you to take. Because if you try, you learn something, you said you grow, you become more developed. You gain opportunities from it. You gain connections, you gain a perspective that you didn't have before, and you're able to share that with someone else. So there's no failure in that. Look at the five things you gained from messing up. I messed up. Let me gain five things because I did one thing wrong. If you, where do you go wrong in that life? It's all about the mindset, right?
[00:21:38] Russ Johns: I love that. I love that. Mark O'Brien Hey brother. Help is not a four-letter word. So true. So true. Karen says, hello everyone. Thank you so much for being here.
[00:21:58] Cristina Flores: I think people are scared to try and to ask for something because giving someone else that opportunity to say yes is scary, but you have to think about it this way. If they say no, am I anywhere lower than I asked then when I asked him, no, I'm nowhere lower. I'm in the exact same spot. But if they say yes, where am I going to be? What opportunity am I getting. Yeah. How am I going to grow? Look at all of that potential in asking where you lose absolutely nothing. Because if it's a no brainer, I gave them the opportunity to say yes.
[00:22:42] Russ Johns: Yeah. It's amazing to think, okay, just by... the double-edged sword is for every yes I have, how many nos. However, you do have to focus on something. And one of the challenges that I have is I don't have a problem starting things as much as I have a problem finishing things. And there's a roadblock there that I just need to investigate a little further. What is it about putting it out there all the way, being completely open and transparent with what I'm doing and make sure that I'm adding value to as many people as possible, not everyone's going to say yes. However, somebody needs my help. Somebody needs what I have to offer. So why wouldn't I help that person rather than think about the other people that don't need it right now. They don't need it yet.
[00:23:32] Cristina Flores: I think that there's a certain vulnerability to putting yourself out there. And every opportunity is that vulnerability. And if you don't have that confidence In yourself or in what you're doing, that vulnerability and negativity is going to creep in. Then you are at a stand still because you're like, I really want to do this, but.
[00:23:56] Russ Johns: Is is good enough?
[00:23:58] Cristina Flores: Is it good enough? Am I going to get the right audience? Am I getting the right person? Am I providing the right message? So if you limit eliminate that, but, and you say, I am putting myself out there because there's value to be had on the other end. And you say that over and over, you're going to believe that and you're going to finish those things. So maybe rest of your mantra should be, I am going to put myself out there and finish these projects because there's so much value at the other end for them.
[00:24:33] Russ Johns: And there is, I do it myself. I show up here on a regular basis, 500 plus episodes. I've taught probably... I've produced thousands of podcasts. I know what needs to be done. And putting it in a format that I can share with other people in easy to understand simple way is it should be easy and simple for me.
[00:24:57] Cristina Flores: And the best example is the participant who said, you've just turned this into my Monday, you've helped one person without intentionally doing it. So imagine the reach and the people you will help by intentionally sending out that message. You have to think that it's not always about you. For me, honestly, I chose to do a year of yes, because I don't like being in front of things. I like to be on the backend. I like to evaluate, I like to interview. I like to push people. I like to solve problems and get those jigsaw puzzles done. I don't like to be on the front end. I don't like to be on camera. I get nervous. I feel like if you don't say yes to the things that scare you and you don't give yourself permission to finish those projects, to put messages out there, to put yourself out there, then you're just holding yourself back. And you're the only person who's doing it. I did a interview on YouTube the other day and I was so nervous. It was my first live. My leg was shaking. I was sitting in front of my grill with my phone on my grill. Like absolutely no amazing things, I just started at the spot that I was at because I had been putting so much pressure on myself to do this and to be prepared a hundred percent and to be right at the best spot where I needed to be. And I just said, heck with it, I'm just going to do it, get it out of the way. I'll learn from it. We'll move on. And I had so many messages from people saying thank you so much for coming on there. Thank you for the message. It's so relatable. It's so easy to apply. I don't know why I didn't think of this before. My whole time that I was doing the interview, I was thinking, oh God, I hope I'm saying the right thing. I'm circling around in the answers. Oh God, I don't know what I'm doing right now. I'm so nervous. But they had that value and I wasn't trying to give it and I pushed myself out there to do it so that I could start because once you start the hard part's over. The hardest part is just starting or just finishing. So if you give yourself that permission to just get out there, go do it. Nobody was judging me in my answers. Nobody's said you stammered, nobody has said your answer for this one didn't quite match up. Cause there was one, question that I was like, oh.
[00:27:34] Russ Johns: Just like Karen says, Cristina, you are calm. Appreciate the positive energy. And Jenny Gold says that there are true teachers. They will give you directions if you have time to find the answers. Absolutely. Cristina, thank you so much for being here. Thank you so much for taking the leap. Jumping in an open slot and cause we were on the show last night and said, hey, the guest canceled, you put your hand up and said, I'll jump on. So Tracie made it happen. We got the graphics, we got the promotion, everything in place and it's wonderful experience and thank you so much for sharing all this great information today.
[00:28:15] Cristina Flores: I would just say thank you so much for having me on here and my final thought is if anybody's stuck, if anybody's holding back, we're all here either to help you. We're all here ready and waiting. We're all here to support you. And even if we can't say yes right away, it's not a no, it's a yes later. So be patient. Don't give up after that first no. Going to make that impact and that's what you were born to do. So give yourself that opportunity. Okay?
[00:28:49] Russ Johns: It was so excited to meet Cristina. Thank you so much. And everyone reach out to Cristina. She's on LinkedIn and all the show notes and all the connections will be on Russ Johns later today. Tracie will get it up and operational. Know that you're doing well, things are great. Life can be beautiful. Just give yourself the opportunity to make changes, move forward because #kindnessiscool, #smilesarefree. So thank you everyone, appreciate it until next time. See you later.
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