Read The Transcript

Connect with Nancy
https://calendly.com/nancybarrows
https://www.instagram.com/vibing_with_nancy_debra/
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC87OpZBfiR-khSvDjI12JqA
https://www.facebook.com/nancy.l.barrows
https://www.linkedin.com/in/nancy-barrows-m-s-ccc-slp-92124213/

Connect with Russ
https://russjohns.com/
https://thepiratesyndicate.com/
https://nextstepnext.com/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/nextstepnext/

Audio digitally transcribed by Descript

[00:00:21] Introduction: Welcome to the #PirateBroadcast™, where we interview #interestingpeople doing #interestingthings. Where you can expand your connections, your community, #kindnessiscool and #smilesarefree. Let’s get this party started.

[00:00:31] Russ Johns: What a time we're going to have today. So Nancy and I met, I think it was the very first time, Nancy, that you got on live stream of any kind. So is that correct?

[00:00:44] Nancy Barrows: Correct. That is exactly how it happened. We met my very first time being live and yeah, and I didn't know what to expect and I didn't know what was going to come out of my face either, so it was exciting.

[00:00:56] Russ Johns: Look how you blossomed and you've grown and you've expanded some things. So I think it's really amazing to watch you. And I just applaud your tenacity and your ability to join into the live streaming and put yourself out there and help so many people. So as a a business, you actually are a speech therapist. So I, my producer Tracie, I ramble a lot on occasion and it's sometimes my brain travels faster than my mouth can keep up. And so it's like those things that you say you want to say, but you can't get it out. And so it's okay, I can relate to, I can relate to speech therapies. Yeah, just put it out there, but at the same point, it doesn't matter. I'm just, I'm here. I'm helping, I'm putting it out.

[00:01:44] Nancy Barrows: Yeah. And one of the things that I tell people all the time is that okay, no one speaks perfectly all the time. I say that a lot to people who struggle with fluency disorders and they're worried, they're hypersensitive to the bobbles and the missteps in their speech. It's none of us speaks perfectly all the time. And then how wouldwe be able to make fun of each other if we didn't misstep and say the wrong word and it becomes some ongoing joke.

[00:02:07] Russ Johns: Yeah. It's like just be comfortable with who you are. And I think that's really what you amplify and what I see a lot of times is being comfortable with who you are, the journey that you've taken and the results that are arriving as a result of our experience. That's so important.

[00:02:26] Nancy Barrows: It really is. And I keep reminding myself that everything happened just because I showed up. It's statistically, what has happened for me in the last eight months of being on LinkedIn shouldn't have happened, should not happen. I should not, have the success I'm having. I, but I didn't know what I was doing. And that's why it worked. So I didn't know anything about the algorithm and that I wasn't supposed to share. Cause it's different native. I didn't know all that. I just. Yeah, and I think that's really important for people to understand that showing up and starting. Is the most important part, not waiting for it to be perfect. I had no plan coming onto LinkedIn, no clue where it was going to go. And I could not have imagined this for myself. I really didn't have the ability to envision this. I didn't even know that, being a host of a live stream show was a possibility, creating a program to help others, find their inner voice, find their passion and let it shine and come connect. Didn't know, that was thing that I was going to hashtag radiating real, creating a movement, a hashtag these were things I couldn't have even imagined truly. And so showing up as the most important.

[00:03:31] Russ Johns: Yeah. And it's so critical to, to, I think in my opinion, to share the fact that we all have an opportunity to share a gift. We all have an opportunity to share what we are passionate about and there's somebody out there's probably more than one person out there that wants to find a story that they can relate to and understand that. Wow, that sounds I can understand and appreciate that. That sounds just like me. I feel connected with that. I resonate with that. And I think that you amplify that idea that exemplify the concept of. Just go start and keep going. And that's what makes it, it makes a huge difference.

[00:04:17] Nancy Barrows: Okay. Thank you. And stories are affirmations. They affirm, that our lives matter. They affirm that we are more similar than different, that we're not alone. And so sharing your story is a big deal. And everyone has an important story, right? It's going to resonate with someone or someone's more likely. And when I started sharing my story, I didn't see anything remarkable about it because it was my story. I have lived it and it wasn't until I kept getting feedback from other people that I realized, wow, what I'm doing is making a difference. What I am doing is something that other people don't do and people are craving and wanting to hear, and it's making a difference for people. So again, just start tell your story, even if you don't. It has much value. It does. And if you just need some feedback for the community, tell your story, it's going to come back to you. Someone's going to reach out and say, thank you. That made such a difference, and that kind of thing.

[00:05:08] Russ Johns: Absolutely. Our DNA is tied to the story of, who we are, how we got here. The journey that we've taken and the information that we can share with other people. So it's, you've got a huge community here blowing us up here. It's okay, Tim's here. Good morning friends. Brian's here. Amazing. And Tim says you have blossomed. Absolutely. Tim. Thank you so much. Another pirate here. Tim's hi, Nancy. Top of the morning, Brian says, oh yeah, this is going to be amazing. Again. KD savor the flavor of the awesomeness of you.

[00:05:50] Nancy Barrows: You found a way to be here, KD. Thank you.

[00:05:53] Russ Johns: Thanks so much. Love you friends. Thank you so much. And Jeff Young is here. Jeff, good morning. You're going to meet someone on live. Nancy Russ is a great one to meet a long time. Long time. You both look amazing. Nancy. Thank you, Brian. Brian Schulman. Thank you for being here. Tim say love.

[00:06:17] Nancy Barrows: Lurve, I got to say lurve.

[00:06:20] Russ Johns: Russ Johns savor the flavor of the awesomeness in you and sharing your delectable thoughts with us today. It just keeps going.

[00:06:28] Nancy Barrows: I love it. I saw Jenny Gold. I saw Amy's who I've interacted with in the comments due to your show, like from your show. There's just. There's just a million people. And honestly, they are the ones I need to think because I can show up, but it's not until your community gathers and you find them that it has meaning, that's really it. So thank you everyone for being here, especially those of you who are on my coast. And it's a little bit early and we are live. Brian said that it's saying previously live, but it's, we're live.

[00:07:00] Russ Johns: We're live. I meant good morning. So what is on the horizon for Nancy in your journey? Cause I know, things are in transition, you're adding a lot of influence and information and support into your community. And I know it's growing, it's continuing to grow and so give us kind of a. A vision of what Nancy's thinking then and what you're anticipating.

[00:07:27] Nancy Barrows: So what I'm anticipating and what's going to happen may be different, but I know the universe will work it all out. Cause I, the universe has a way of laughing at our plans and always, yeah. Always finding it some other way to enhance it. But, I just did my first keynote. Yeah. In July and it was just exhilarating and empowering and people were coming up to me afterwards, sharing their story. And I realized that's one of the ways I want to be able to reach people because I love doing my live shows, but in person. When someone can come up to a person afterwards, and really have a conversation, especially about some of the topics I talk about and for your audience that doesn't know. And I'll just give you the quick version and let you know that my story is hard to receive, but I was sexually abused till I was 16 years old by my grandfather. I was indirect sick for years. I have suffered from major depressive episodes and still, quote, unquote deal or live with my depression from day to day. So there's a lot there. And. For people. I love the response and the interaction online. And I would never give that up because I couldn't reach all of those people in person, but there is something also to in-person. So I, in the future, I plan to continue doing those keynote addresses. I am continuing to. Energized the radiating real movement that is near and dear to my heart, which is that hashtag radiating real, where it came from me really in the last seven months, 100% committing to being 100% me 100% of the time. And I knew what a difference that made for me, how I can stand taller. Weight was lifted and yeah. It felt so much better. My energy completely shifted and wanting to share that with other people and giving them permission and allowing them to receive the same unconditional love and acceptance that I had. So that's out there. The other thing that's coming on now is the chick with the tool belt. And this is a hard place for me. The chick with the tool belt is a program where it really helps people. Discover their inner sells, uncover their passion, find their voice. How do they want to use it? And it can be anywhere. It seems to be right now. It's about people, especially after the pandemic sort of. Wanting to be more real and wanting to figure out how do I incorporate that into what I'm doing often on social media or starting, a business. And I had the most wonderful compliment from someone I worked with using, the program she said to me, she goes, when we started talking and you said I was going to have to post on social media, I had a moment of panic because I thought I don't have anything important. I don't have anything to say. But by the end of our call, I feel like I have a year's worth of posts that I can share with people. Yeah. Because she was only thinking about a business level and not sharing herself and who she is and all the things that had brought her to that place. And so the chick of the tool belt is super exciting because I get to be in that place with someone when they discover it, when they have their aha moment and the privilege of seeing them come to them. And basically it's just tools that I've had and conversations I've had with people that I've asked them to reflect back to me, what was it about it and pulled it all together and where it's difficult for me, in creating a new business, marketing it not because they don't believe in it. Not because I don't believe that my value in delivering it, but I have a hard time asking people. Yeah. To pay me. It's been an issue in my private practice as well. I was always very lucky. I, my reputation was out there. I had good referral sources. I didn't have to ask. And so this is a new challenge for me and opening and growing up to say, you know what? I have something to offer that I know will help people. And I want it to be, speaking and check with the 12 out and there's. Yeah. Down the line, but I want this to be my career, not my side hustle and Murray for that to happen. I need to step into the uncomfortable at saying, Hey, jump on my Calendly. Let's, start a phone call, have a consultation. Where do you want to be? And then talk about. Where this goes from the business end of it, because ultimately I have to keep a roof over my head and I wish I didn't have to quote unquote monetize my passion. But the reality is I have to eat, keep a roof over my head and I choose to live in Los Angeles and that's expensive to do, which is my responsibility. But I, every time I step into those roles, I feel. I feel alive. I feel energized. I feel it's just, if anyone out there, if you are, when you step into your passion, you know what I'm talking about and it may just defy words, but I'm straddling that line right now. And that's really hard. Really hard.

[00:12:01] Russ Johns: Yeah. Think of it this way though. And this is some of the things I have to reflect on as well. Cause I'm in the same situation, it's, I love helping people. And it's always amazing to be able to help more people and sharing, this live streaming concept and content creation and marketing and all of the things that go along with that. However, the other side of it is if you. If you exchange that value for money you can actually help more people and by not sharing it with more people, you're doing yourself a disservice and you're doing your commute. It's true. It's framing it, I think is okay. And I'm bad. I'm terrible at it actually. And so I'm going through the same thing. So it's really interesting that we're talking about this because. Step back and think about what the feeling was when you decided that you wanted to get real. You wanted to put yourself into that situation and be that a hundred percent of the time. And that feeling was scary at first and then it became comfortable. And then you became more available to people. More people were exchanging ideas with you. Think of that and then think about how that could be for other things.

[00:13:22] Nancy Barrows: This is why we love restaurants. That's exactly it getting to that point of saying to myself, yeah, what's my intent is to help people. How do I do that? It includes, monetizing this and being paid to do it so I can help other people more and more people. So thank you for that. That was again, why we left. Love restaurants and love being a pirate.

[00:13:44] Russ Johns: Yeah. That's the whole purpose of that. The community is to be able to share with the community yes. Broadcast and share our ideas and our thoughts because somebody out there is suffering and they need to know that there's a way that they can get through it and process this information.

[00:14:05] Nancy Barrows: And I think the radiating real comes in and how we tell our stories too. And. That's critical. If I had seen me speaking now, when I was going through the thick of it, my teens and twenties, I would have hated me. Who are you? You're perfect. You're fine. You're happy. You've been through it. You don't understand what it's like, but you know what, that's why I have to talk about the snotty unsexy parts, because knowing what someone went through to get here can give you hope. Knowing that I did the same things that other people out there are doing. I cried myself to sleep on my bathroom floor. I have gone days without showering. I have lied to people and told them I had plans because I don't want to go out. And I don't want anyone on my back because I'm not happy and not feeling it. I'm not wanting to be social. I'm wanting to isolate. And so if we skip all of them, Then I think we really are doing a disservice because yes, who I am now is important. Yes. Who I am now allows me to connect with people and have that place of saying no, I really do understand. And it allows me to say, look it's possible. But at the same time, here's what happens. Here's what got me here. And it, wasn't pretty, we all have this invisible report card that we like to, give ourselves grades on different things compared to other people. And again, radiating real, we're hurting one. Another people will go on. I thought it was feeling a divorce. I didn't even know you could fail a divorce until I was in the middle of it. And I felt like I was failing because everyone around me who had gone through a divorce and it looks so. For like graceful. But I didn't see what was going on behind the scenes. And so when I was experiencing it, I thought there was something wrong with me. Do I question my decision? Is it something about me? Am I not strong enough to do this? Cause everybody else I know is able to do this, seemingly easily. So again, how we tell our story and the parts we choose to share, that's hugely impactful.

[00:16:04] Russ Johns: All right. And I have so many, examples of that in my own life as does everyone who has actually lived life. And one of the things that you have to think about is all of the challenges that we experienced during our life. It is makes up the fabric of who we are, and we can't be who we are, and we can't fully shine until we have accepted. That all of the adventures and challenges and discomfort and those moments where you don't know what to do, you feel a hundred percent broken and I've been, I've been at the point of suicide, I've been homeless. All of these things have happened to me. And that is exactly what makes it okay. For me to be okay.

[00:16:51] Nancy Barrows: Yeah. We see each other where we are in the journey now, and we only know as much of a person's story as they're willing to share.

[00:16:57] Russ Johns: 10 years for my overnight success.

[00:16:59] Nancy Barrows: Yeah, exactly. Exactly. It's 47 years later. I finally figured out what I want to do, and it came to me not for today. I figured it out for today. Cause if you would've asked me two months ago, I was struggling with how do I. Monetize my passion, because I don't want to slip out of this. I don't want to have to keep leaving this to go to something else that just doesn't feed my soul the same way. It doesn't nurture me the same way. And I kept trying and trying to figure it out. And quite frankly, the universe showed me because I didn't force a decision. I just kept going, talking to people and doing quote unquote, the chick with the tool about program without knowing it, create it. And then it, it found me. And so yes, today. I know what I want to do. Might that change tomorrow? Yeah, absolutely. Because I don't know what tomorrow is going to bring, what experiences that I absolutely am grateful for what I went through and having shared my story. I have a deeper gratitude for it because I now see beyond me.

[00:17:57] Russ Johns: And the more that you share that story, the clear the message becomes. And that folds into your speaking engagements because that keynote is going to be crystal clear and concise and the message that you want to deliver. And the one that resonates with people will there'll be alignment.

[00:18:17] Nancy Barrows: And there's alignment and all that I'm doing without thinking about it. I reflect back and I'm like, wait a second. Okay. So my keynote is all about taking the masks off and all the different masks I've worn throughout my life. And then tying in yeah. What happened was radiating real and CIC with the tool belt, from all of it. It's all the same place of like finally being able to see all those masks. Cause I was skillful at creating them. Most of us are I like to say I was a skilled illusionist. Maybe a delusional for, also an illusionist. And there were times in my life where I fooled me, like even I didn't see the mask I was wearing. And to be honest about the fact that I tried them on from time to time, it's not that I don't have those moments of going back to a place and experiencing it again, but giving myself an opportunity to. Live through it differently. Use the new skills I have, but I joke. It's like that beautiful pair of shoes you have in the closet. They're gorgeous and you really want them to be comfortable and you'll try them on and you'll think you're leaving the house. And before you leave the house, they're so painful. You can't take another step. It's the same with the old masks that we wear. You get to a point where they just, they don't fit and they don't feel good. And they are the notion of wearing the mask becomes. Less comfortable than the unknown of being real. And then that unknown of being real actually shows itself to be known pretty quickly.

[00:19:38] Russ Johns: The beautiful thing about it is at first, when we decide to make those changes in our life, the mask feels natural. And then the more we become real. It feels more unnatural.

[00:19:55] Nancy Barrows: And people react to it. Yeah. I will say, my divorce was one of those aha moments where I was like I, this is like this mass that I've been wearing is so uncomfortable. I can't do it anymore. And I don't know what comes from me being real and talking about sharing my truth and living in my truth. And there were some consequences that were painful, quite frankly, people around me and a lot of people are not comfortable with you being 100%. Not wearing a mask because your mask feeds their mask. And if you're real it's bumping up against their comfort. You're not fitting into it the way they like. And it does upset people and make them uncomfortable. But you know what, there's a point where I decided who am I. Responsible for who am I obligated to? Who am I honoring? Am I honoring me or everyone else around me? Who's going to be uncomfortable. If I continued on a path, that's slowly killing me. And lots of times we're talking. Nope. It's everybody else around you. That's you're supposed to keep everybody happy. Make sure everybody's okay. Make sure everybody's okay.

[00:20:58] Russ Johns: Doesn't matter if I am or not.

[00:21:00] Nancy Barrows: Exactly. You feel good? You're happy. This is comfortable for you. Great. I can, especially because of my experience, I can live in that discomfort. I that's. No problem. I can live in that discomfort. I can move on breadcrumbs. I can ignore my gut. I can lose my voice, but I won't. I mind willing to, one of the things that came to me when I was writing my keynote is I want to be real, was what I said originally. And what I realized is no I'm meant to be real.

[00:21:31] Russ Johns: You're born to be real.

[00:21:32] Nancy Barrows: Yeah. That's what I was always meant to be. I was born to be real, I was born to be me and the fact that's a revelation.

[00:21:38] Russ Johns: It just took a little bit.

[00:21:40] Nancy Barrows: Yeah, it took a little bit, it took a little bit.

[00:21:42] Russ Johns: With that, I want to ask you before we go, what prompted you to become a speech therapist?

[00:21:50] Nancy Barrows: I had taken a summer class is a great program. I don't know if it still exists at Wellesley college, where, as a sophomore, junior, senior in high school, you could go within the dorms in the summer. There were classes in the morning taught by gay university students, and then you had the afternoon to yourself. So it was this fun little foray into a supervised college experience. And one of the classes I took was sign language. And it was dark. It was taught by a woman who was deaf. And I was fascinated by the fact that we could communicate without knowing the same language and that I could step into her perspective. And I think. See what it was like. And again, that communication piece and subconsciously I lost my voice when I was very young. I didn't get to say what I wanted. I didn't say what was on my mind. It was an option, but it wasn't, it was just part of that abuse cycle where you just, people ask me all the time. Why didn't you say something? Why don't you just say no? It wasn't even a thought, when you're in it, it's a whole different thing than looking at it from the outside. And I had lost my voice. And so subconsciously along with this, ignited, interested in passionate of mine, of this communication piece, it was to give people. It was to give people that opportunity to give people, communication, man, whatever the form, whether you're speaking, you're signing, you're using a communication system that speaks for you appointing board, whatever it is, but communication is so central to everything we do. And again, that was another place where I had the privilege and honor to help people find their voice. Yeah. I mean in a different way than I'm doing now, but nonetheless powerful.

[00:23:28] Russ Johns: Don't you see the parallel between then and now?

[00:23:31] Nancy Barrows: Yes, I can looking back. I didn't at the time same parallel that I chose to work in an area in Los Angeles where trauma is the rule, not the exception. Yeah, I didn't know that, but I, those kids, I got it. And so when a kid was tearing up a classroom and everybody else wanted to think of him as a bad kid and yell at them and do this power trip, I would show up for kids that I never knew. And I would sit in the room on a chair with my back to the door and just be there and be like, wow, this is big. This is a big field. I'm not leaving. I'm not going anywhere. I'm here. When you're ready, we can talk like, because every other adult did exactly what that kid wanted them to do. Yeah. Gave up on them and left and I could stay and I could be in it and I could be comfortable with it and understanding it without understanding it, looking back. I know it was my trauma that made it okay to be in that space with someone and to understand that's where it was coming from. And I say all the time about my kids, especially with those communication disorders, if they had a better way to do it, they will. It doesn't feel good to do it this way. It doesn't feel good to be misunderstood. So yeah, that's what got me into being a speech pathologist.

[00:24:40] Russ Johns: Yeah. I think I just see that as being there's a connection there and I just want you recognize the value of the work that you do and the message you share.

[00:24:50] Nancy Barrows: Yeah, my specialty is social cognition. So again, allowing people to create those interpersonal relationships, feel community and have that connection. It is all there. And I might not have seen it at the time. But it was all right in front of me. Again. I love to say that it's already happened. I'm just catching up to it. Like the university has it all done for me. I'm just catching up. It was all waiting for me.

[00:25:10] Russ Johns: Throw out the intention and you'll arrive eventually.

[00:25:13] Nancy Barrows: Yep. Waiting for me to show up.

[00:25:14] Russ Johns: I just want to thank everyone for being here. It's been an amazing journey. Nancy has been a long time coming. I was there at the beginning and I will continue to support you along your journey. Anything I can do to add value to your day or your your life more than happy to do and there are so many others that are here as well, supporting you.

[00:25:36] Nancy Barrows: I'm so very grateful, so very fortunate. And if it wasn't you Russ that day, who knows if I would have felt comfortable doing it. So thank you for being you and for having me here and for making me a pirate, this is so things, the things that girl dreams of.

[00:25:50] Russ Johns: Yes. Hopefully most people think of being a pirate is a good thing. So we'll change the dynamic and make sure that everybody appreciates it. Thank you so much. And everybody that, there's lots of comments here and I'll go back in and reply to people as I can throughout the day. And thank you so much for being here and everything. How do you want to people to connect with you, Nancy? How do you want people to reach out to you?

[00:26:16] Nancy Barrows: If you're on LinkedIn, that's probably the easiest, most straightforward, at Calendly you can always set up. The Calendly link, calendly.com/Nancy Barrows. Or email me if you're not finding it on a platform, email me. It's again, Nancy.D.Barrows@gmail.com. And I can drop that in the comments and I'm surprised if by the time I go to do it, it's not already in there because I know that Brian we'll make sure it's there. And if you're having trouble finding me, Russ knows how to.

[00:26:44] Russ Johns: Yeah. All of the contact information in the links will be in the post on RussJohns.com/piratebroadcast. So it'll be up there podcast, broadcast. If you like, comment and share this content because Nancy needs to get the word out. She deserves to have an audience because her message is so powerful. And connect, pirates connect. That's what we're here for. That's why we're here because you know why #kindnessiscool and #smilesarefree, so you #enjoytheday. Everyone take care. Be well and be in touch. Thanks Nancy.

[00:27:22] Nancy Barrows: Thank you.

[00:27:23] Exit: Thank you for joining the #PirateBroadcast™. If you found this content valuable, please like, comment and share it across your social media channels. I would love the opportunity to help others grow in their business. The #PirateSyndicate™ is a platform where you show up, we produce the show. It's that easy. If you want to be seen, be heard and be talked about, join the #PirateSyndicate™ today.

Join the next #PirateBroadcast™ on your favorite social media channel.