Catch Prof. Pete Alexander on the #PirateBroadcast
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Russ Johns 0:03
Welcome to the #piratebroadcast, where we interview #interestingpeople doing #interestingthings where you can expand your connections, your community. #Kindnessiscool and #smilesarefree. Let's get this party started.
It's another beautiful day for a #piratebroadcast. I hope you you enjoy this episode because I know I will. I just wanted to extend the invitation to share, subscribe and do all of the #internetthings that are required to keep this thing alive. Today we have a special guest that has also done a few shows here and there. You might have caught him on the airwaves now and then. Professor Pete Alexander, how are you today?
Prof. Pete Alexander 0:55
Fantastic. Russ, thank you so much for having me on the show.
Russ Johns 0:58
Oh, it's a pleasure. It's a pleasure. I love The fact that we're here and finally. It's not often that we have an opportunity to catch up with people in our busy lives and I use this opportunity to reach out, meet a new friend meet up, refresh a connection and have a conversation that is just unique to this time and space. So, welcome to the #piratebroadcast. Thank you for being a pirate now. You're officially a pirate. I want to ask you, how did you arrive here? You've climbed mountains, you've sold stuff, you've stressed out, you've learned how to not stress out. Tell us a little backstory for those that don't know you.
Prof. Pete Alexander 1:43
Oh, sure. Stress and I have had a long relationship. I mean, it goes back to my dysfunctional childhood. As an adult, what happened where the stress really started coming out, was back in 2008. It was a perfect storm. Can you imagine Russ with we've all had those times where we're completely emotionally and physically just spent. It was happening to me. I had my dad dying and he had to have all his affairs taken care of my mom was had major hip surgery, and needed her care. I had a small thriving business with several employees that I had to manage. I had two kids who were very small back then, And oh, by the way, I had a marriage heading for divorce. Just a few things going on.
Russ Johns 2:32
Prof. Pete Alexander 2:33
A perfect storm ended up with stress induced diabetes. Nobody else in my family has it. Yet, when that happened, did I listen to my body about what stress was doing to it?
Russ Johns 2:44
Prof. Pete Alexander 2:45
No, no, of course not. I kept burning the candle at both ends for another 10 years and then what happened was I ended up in the emergency room and my very first ever visit for three days in the ICU with a severe case of diabetic ketoacidosis
Russ Johns 2:47
Prof. Pete Alexander 3:01
Yeah, so for the listeners who don't know what that is, my body was eating itself alive because of my stress.
Russ Johns 3:08
Prof. Pete Alexander 3:09
Here's the absolute crazy thing. Get admitted. I was the doctor said I was one hour from being comatose. Hmm. I get into ICU. My boss knows that I'm in ICU emergency room in ICU. On my second day in ICU at about 6am in the morning, I get a text. My boss says, you have a webinar you need to run at eight o'clock. What are you gonna do about it? Mind you, when I was admitted, and for the first 36 hours that I was in the hospital, my blood sugar's were so high that the medical grade glucometers could not even read it. That meant that my sugar's were over 800 and normal is between 80 and 100. Eight to 10 times higher. than it's supposed to be. It didn't come down at this point when I got this text, did it come back down into almost normal ranges. I see this I start to freak out and stress out, I start pushing the envelope of my phone as hard as I can to try and reschedule this. Every half an hour, the nurse would poke me to see what my blood sugar's were. She comes over and she she checks it and she sees that. Or shows me that my sugars are blood sugars have been going down.
Now all of a sudden, we've got I'm trying to do this on the camera here 90 degree angle going straight up. Yeah. She says this one thing to me. She says, you realize that's what puts you in this hospital bed in the first place. That was finally my epiphany moment. It was like, What am I doing to myself, and so the next day, I Got out. The day after that I had a conversation with my boss, I resigned. Fortunately, I had managed my money enough that I didn't need to have to have that full time salary. I focused on myself, I started trying all these different stress relief tools and techniques. What I noticed was that not only was my stress going down, but so did my blood sugar's my weight. Then my energy was gone way, way up. It was like I had discovered the fountain of youth.
Russ Johns 5:30
Prof. Pete Alexander 5:30
Yes! Epiphany! My friends and family and peers all said you were to write a book about this and so I decided I just write a book and it became Amazon bestseller and now I'm coaching others because I totally believe that anybody can reach their full potential if they can get a handle on their stress.
Russ Johns 5:54
Yeah, I've never been A high stress person, I've been a very low stress person in high stress situations. It comes out in a different way. I still think it affects us, I still think the stress that we place ourselves in and constant stress over time, I think is even more disrupting to our psyche and our bodies. You're, you're not designed. I don't think we're designed to be in a stressful situation over long periods of time.
Prof. Pete Alexander 6:38
Russ Johns 6:38
Right now, a lot of people are in stressful situations. I'm seeing that and I'm seeing the cause and effect of, families and friends of being closed in a house where they're used to going out and doing things. I encourage you to do something for your stress, anyone that's watching anybody that can do it. What are some things that you have discovered along the way in pulling from your book and your experience and your knowledge? What are some things that people can think about doing? I know, for me, it's meditations. This show is kind of therapy for me. It's I can highlight Professor Pete, and we can have a great time in a conversation. What are some other things that people can do?
Prof. Pete Alexander 7:26
Well, I think, with the current situation that we have, one of the ones that I love to impart on other people, is what I call Don't try to control the uncontrollable and that is so relevant for right now. Here we are two months ago, government starts shutting things down, right? We have no control over that because we don't run the government. We are having to deal with the situation a stay at home, working, not working, whatever it happens to be, as you mentioned, It's all about controlling ourselves. That's what we have control over. The technique that I use with my clients is you make two lists. One list is your controllable in a situation. Let's take COVID-19. Let's say what can you control? What can't you control because we as as humans, in any stressful situation that we're faced with, we tend to worry about all of it.
Russ Johns 8:29
Prof. Pete Alexander 8:30
We'll manifest that in different ways. But as you refer to a little earlier that we're not designed for long term stress. That's because our bodies are still designed from the back in the stone age when the stress was only to outrun a saber toothed Tiger or T Rex, right? It's not for the thinking and constantly worrying about stuff that drop the adrenaline and cortisone constantly into our body. If you make this these two lists, and you say okay, what can't I control? I can't control the government, whatever they're gonna do, I can't control my neighbor, by wearing his or her mask, I can't control people in the grocery store wearing their mask or not. All I can do is control myself. I can choose to wear a mask. I can choose to play the victim role, or I can say, you know what, I'm dealing with this in my own way, I'm going to do whatever I can at home or go for a walk if you're allowed to go for a walk, but I'm not going to let this beat me that It's all a matter of a mindset. You list out both the uncontrollables and the controllables. Then instead of what we typically would do is 50% of our mindshare is on what we can control 50% is what we can't control and it's just totally wiping us out. We do as much of 100% on what we can control because we can affect change there. If we can affect change there and we feel like we have control Naturally, we're going to have lower stress. Because when we feel like we're in control, our stress goes way, way down.
Russ Johns 10:08
Rather than trying to dismiss what you don't have control over, you want to focus in on the control that you have.
Prof. Pete Alexander 10:16
Russ Johns 10:17
And resolve the issues that you can deal with at that point in time.
Prof. Pete Alexander 10:21
Russ Johns 10:22
That's fantastic. I love that and, and I like the idea that, okay, it's kind of along the same lines making progress builds momentum and confidence. If when you have confidence about something, even if it's a small item, then you can focus on the progress and the momentum that you can build with that rather than focusing on the things that you don't have to worry about. It's a big challenge for a lot of people, especially in this day and age where they're surrounded by social media, a lot of noise. The news is telling you if you listen to the news, I mean, it seems like just kill your TV, just kill it, and then start learning a skill, learn something positive that can build momentum that is resilient in these kinds of circumstances.
Prof. Pete Alexander 11:16
Absolutely, yeah. Use the time wisely. Catch up on reading books that you wanted to read, or a lot of us have some sort of dream that we had that we wanted to build. If you've been given this extra time to do it, why not work on it, sketch some notes out, do something about that even if it's taking one step further, let's say if it was the book that you wanted to write, Well, okay. What I did with writing my books, is one of the first things I did was come up with a first draft, table of contents. It's just basically
Russ Johns 11:57
What would it look like,
Prof. Pete Alexander 11:57
That skeleton. What would it look like? If you just get that one step forward, then as you said, you start gaining the momentum.If you're stuck, we all get stuck. Maybe it's in procrastination or often. And a lot of our stress is all around fear, right? I mean, we're fearful of something. I always like to remind people, what's the acronym fear stands for you've probably heard this right, Russ.
Russ Johns 12:28
I've heard many versions. Share yours.
Prof. Pete Alexander 12:31
It's fictional evidence appearing real, right? We stress ourselves out and believe it or not, nobody else is going to stress us out unless we allow them to stress us out.
Russ Johns 12:42
Prof. Pete Alexander 12:44
What I love to impart on people is if you're stuck because you're worried about failing, ask yourself this question. What would do if I knew I couldn't fail? Now think about that, if you think of that question, it opens up the world of possibility. Let's say you come up with that first draft of your book, the table of contents. You look, Ah, that's not going to be ba, ba, ba, but then instead say, what would that look like? If that was a best seller?
Russ Johns 13:20
Well, and here's the thing is, if you have an opportunity, how would you feel? If you said, I wasn't an author? And now I'm an author?
Prof. Pete Alexander 13:33
Very good. Absolutely!
Russ Johns 13:34
How does that feel to you? Does that feel exciting? Does that feel inviting? Does that feel encouraging? Does that feel like building forward motion momentum and fill in the blanks? It could be author, it could be podcasert, or it could be runner, it could be mountain climber. It could be fill in the blanks.
Prof. Pete Alexander 13:55
Russ Johns 13:56
It's something that we really have to think about. What brings brings you joy, because the journey can be a marathon. Don't think about what I can do today, as much as what I want to feel like today, and how do I want to use my time to bring that feeling to the center of my activities?
Prof. Pete Alexander 14:21
Absolutely, yeah. It's that emotional connection that you're talking about. I love that you say that because that's one of the common things that I'll do when I'm doing goal setting with clients after we decide what is it What's that aim? I like to call it the aim. What's the aim that they're going for the ongoing thing not just okay, I want to scale Kilimanjaro or something like that. What is scaling Kilimanjaro mean to you? Right? Because that's the higher level
Russ Johns 14:45
What does it represent in your outcome.
Prof. Pete Alexander 14:53
Exactly. Exactly. Getting that emotional connection because that's going to Drive You, and I love that you say about what brings you joy because one of the easy techniques that I mentioned to people on a day to day basis, we could have be having a great day, right? All of a sudden something or someone comes along and all of a sudden our day starts going sideways because of that, right? If you create a joy list of things that bring you joy, and let's say it's only 2 3 4 or 5 things, just a simple list, and you pull that list out either off from your phone or you have it in your wallet or your purse, and you look at that and you just focus on one of them. That can bring you back into alignment and keep you moving forward.
Russ Johns 15:47
Smiling can do that to you.
Prof. Pete Alexander 15:49
Russ Johns 15:50
Smiling It actually has a chemical reaction in your brain and laughing is the same way is just too Take a moment and find out what really creates that for you and have that in your back pocket. When you're feeling stressed out when you're feeling challenged you can actually just take a moment, pause and just reflect on something that's a little better in your life.
Prof. Pete Alexander 16:17
Exactly. It's smiling. You're so right. It's in fact it's summertime now, and we put our sunglasses on, we think that we're putting our sunglasses on, just to keep the light out from our eyes. From a chemical standpoint, if we're smiling, and we put our sunglasses on at the same time, that is a double whammy of positive for our bodies, because what happens is when we squint, our body thinks that we're stressed. If we're not squinting, because we have the sunglasses on and we're smiling, boom, boom, it's a double whammy, and the laughter I'm a laughter yoga instructor. One of my favorite techniques that I like to use is, if you imagine, let's say that you receive a bill, either email or in the snail mail, whatever it happens to be that you were not expecting.
Rather than going, Oh, crap, here we go again, what you do is you hold the pretend to hold the bill in one hand, you point at it with the other hand, and you just laugh at it for about 20 seconds, right? You'll feel better. The technique doesn't just work for a bill, it can work for a text and email, a phone call something that again, going sideways, you just laugh at it. It just puts in. What people don't realize is you don't have to have a real laugh. Our bodies don't know the
Russ Johns 17:51
Prof. Pete Alexander 17:52
Yeah, they it just knows that you're laughing. If it knows that you're laughing, it's going to give you those positive benefits. I so encourage people to do force laugh. I mean, you don't have to put a joke or a cat video on or something like that.
Russ Johns 18:09
So I want to give a highlight out to a couple of people that I can was here 4% left in his battery looking forward to hearing it til it hits zero
Prof. Pete Alexander 18:22
I love that!
Russ Johns 18:24
Thank you for being here and it's like, I want to patch but I don't want to lose an eye.
Prof. Pete Alexander 18:30
Those are uncomfortable to wear, I'll tell you.
Russ Johns 18:32
Exactly, exactly. Wow, almost by story and that's the funny thing is we have so many parallels in all our lives, that if you pull the thread long enough, there's always something we can connect with. Kathy, Kathy Spooner? Good morning from Southwest Nevada, is it I'll get there. Kathy's laughing at us.
Prof. Pete Alexander 19:03
You know what we're laughing that's what we do.
Russ Johns 19:05
Kon's here. Good morning, Russ.
Prof. Pete Alexander 19:07
Good morning Kon!
Russ Johns 19:08
Good morning pirates. Thank you so much for being here. Then windy. Windy is such a wonderful she just launched the podcast so if you're not connected with Wendy go out and support her as well.
Prof. Pete Alexander 19:21
Congratulation to you
Russ Johns 19:22
Arcot here. Good evening. He's on the other side of the world his little later. He's in the future. Good evening. Good morning to all pirates. Oh, yeah, I just attended a face yoga practice seminar. Then we're Nice to meet you. Thank you so much. I love that you're here. Thank you so much. Also, Kon divide and conquer your stresses. Great idea. I love that. I love that.
Prof. Pete Alexander 19:49
Thank you Kon!
Russ Johns 19:50
You had it divide and conquer. Then David Munford said hi.
Prof. Pete Alexander 19:54
Russ Johns 19:56
Saying hi to David and lots of conversation. I love this because going back and forth in the conversations there's a lot of people that are part of the pirate community that have actually made friends and made progress and and changed how they're looking at life I think so it's it's really encouraging to me to have this community and build it up. Kathy says understanding the locus of control and mindfulness are key for reducing anxiety.
Prof. Pete Alexander 20:27
Russ Johns 20:27
Absolutely. I love that. I love that and so Oh, what would it What would you do if I couldn't feel lovely statement? I love that.
Prof. Pete Alexander 20:40
I'm glad you like it Arcot
Russ Johns 20:42
Lots of great come and Wendy says thank you. I have a backup phone
Prof. Pete Alexander 20:51
Sir back to 100% battery love it.
Russ Johns 20:55
So let's shift the tables. I know that you've been experiencing a lot different binaries and I love the fact that there's a variety of the backgrounds and I'm constantly curious and a lifetime learner. I also enjoy and appreciate people that have had diversity in their, in their experience and love to ask questions. You've been on LinkedIn a while and you've kind of developed your approach in and there's things that have changed and things that have moved through and I just wanted to find out what's your journey look like on on social media as it relates to your podcast and helping people and having those conversations and making connections? I'm curious about how you approach that with your mindset and your lifestyle today.
Prof. Pete Alexander 21:49
It's good question. I'm on LinkedIn, I'm on Facebook, I'm on YouTube, Instagram and Twitter. When I started. I would do regular content for either my landscaping business or my stress relief coaching. When I started the podcast, since that is directed at business leaders, what I really started doing was focusing on LinkedIn and it has become if we were going to show a pie chart, let's say of effort, I would have to say my time is spent 80% on LinkedIn. I've grown my network substantially there over the last since the beginning of the year, and that's through a lot through referrals, etc. I found that I've actually made some fantastic connections. It used to be it's the approach with LinkedIn prior to 2020. What I found was that I thought, okay, I only should use LinkedIn and connect with people that I've met or had met at a conference worked with a friend that, at another company or friend attic at a existing company. Then I realized, you know what if you just do that you limit yourself.
A perfect example is you and I being connected. I got a connection to you through referral from a guest that was on my podcast. Then all of a sudden, I started watching your shows and stuff like that, what a fantastic connection. If I would have taken that mindset of, Oh, I cannot I shouldn't connect with anyone that I haven't at least had a zoom conversation with, or had some sort of correspondence with so now I'm always open to new connections, and finding out how I can help them and and and being able to to spread the word because I do a lot of content free content on LinkedIn. My true belief with that platform is I want to get back to the community. My contents not gated. The weekly stress relief tips that I do. I'm picking up one from my book, I've got like 100 Hundred and 20 in my book, and each week I pick one. I talk about it and it's one to two minutes and that's the bite size thing where people can take a take a tip, give it a try, if it works for them, fantastic. run with it, use it anytime you need it. If it doesn't work, well, what's the big deal? You one to two minutes? Try another one?
Russ Johns 24:22
Nothing ventured, nothing gained, right.
Prof. Pete Alexander 24:24
Russ Johns 24:27
well. I think you're right. Everybody has a different approach to LinkedIn. For myself, I don't know who I'm going to touch. I don't know whose life it's always amazing to me all received direct messages on occasion from people that I've never had a conversation with. They've never appeared. They've never made a comment in a post or anything like that. They'll just say, hey, Russ, thank you. Keep doing what you're doing. I'm inspired and you appreciate you It's just like, those moments in time are just really, that's why we're here is to help others at least see the light at the end of the tunnel and maybe help somebody smile or make a difference in somebody's life if I can impact somebody every day. Whether I know it or not, it's not really important what whether it happens if I'm not if I don't show up, I can't help anyone.
Prof. Pete Alexander 25:26
That's exactly right. It's true. Sometimes that's half the game right there. It's just showing up and I totally concur withhaving the people who just out of the blue reach out to you I mean, I've been doing so much pro bono coaching given this crisis and stuff and these are people from all over the world and I just it to me, I'm very grateful for that because without the platform, I wouldn't be able to touch that many people.
Russ Johns 25:56
Yeah. Thanks, everyone. Kon says, enjoy listen to both of you by stresses already going down
Prof. Pete Alexander 26:05
Russ Johns 26:07
Kons a pirate, so he's very well versed in the pirate community. I think right now, more than any other time, I mean, we're all going through this thing together. I see a lot of polar conversations taking place in the communities and it's really political, and folks, we're all in this together. Let's get a grip on ourselves whether you believe one thing or another, it's still the fact remains that we have to work together to solve this problem to get through to the other side, and conflict and battles and It doesn't help solve the problem. It's like, okay everyone on projects in corporations and large organizations, and anytime you have a project and something goes wrong, rather than blaming somebody and say, okay, it's all your fault, what we approach it with is, okay, what can we learn from it? How can we move forward together? How can we learn how to improve this so it doesn't happen again. It's really more about a learning experience and a growing experience rather than a blame game. I think too many people get in the victim in the blame game. That actually enhances our stress and causes too many problems and it's just like, let's not go there. Let's encourage people to stay away from that direction.
Prof. Pete Alexander 27:50
Absolutely, yeah. I mean, when you play the victim role, the blame game, you're just wallowing in that negative energy and instead if you look at the situation, there's always different perspectives on it. The reality is our perception is our reality. If we believe that we're a victim, we're going to play that victim role. That is going to be something where we're helpless. If we're a victim, we're helpless. We can't do anything about it. If we just do, as you say, and we look at it, we go, okay, yep, something happened here. Let's see what we can do to fix it. Let's move forward. That's a proactive and the energy for that is so much more positive than the negative energy that's generated by playing that victim role. When we wallow in that negative energy over and over again, it does not serve us and our body is just battling that because our mind has all the power over our body.
Russ Johns 28:50
You'll end up in the ICU. Just like
Prof. Pete Alexander 28:52
Yes, you will. Yes, you will. Although I wasn't in the victim role. It was just I overworked myself. That's the problem and this total stress crazy And that's the thing that for the listeners it is not a good trade when you're trading your mental and physical health for your career or other responsibilities, trust me, because that I did a lot of personal values work with an organization I worked for in the early 90s. Back then the technique or the workshop that the company would sell to organizations would help employees, find out what their top five goals or top five personal values were. Then try the you would align that with their jobs with the intent that if their personal values are aligned with their jobs, they're going to be more loyal, they'll be more productive, more happy.
Back when I did that, my top five goals did not include personal health. I can tell you right now in every aspect of my life, whether it's my professional life, my personal life, you name it. personal health is number one, because without your health, nothing else matters. Think about this, Russ the last time that you were really sick. Did you feel like doing anything other than lying in bed? If you know it just you don't and if you can't if you are just want to be lying in bed, you're no good to your significant other. What's that? Okay, so yeah so, did you really want to do anything?
Russ Johns 30:38
I wanted to die.
Prof. Pete Alexander 30:40
Exactly. That's thing
Russ Johns 30:43
This is not good.
Prof. Pete Alexander 30:44
Russ Johns 30:46
Let's all work together. Let's put the positive vibes out to the world and make sure that we have. I mean, it's right now in my location. It's it's Friday. It's morning. It's a beautiful day outside. I love the fact that we're here and we're having these conversations. What would you love to before we wrap up today? What would you love to leave with the world and to encourage people to think about throughout the day or the evening as they're venturing down their path?
Prof. Pete Alexander 31:22
Well, my absolute number one favorite stress relief tool is gratitude. Be grateful for what you have. It's like there's a writer, Neil Pacheco, I think I said his name, right. He wrote a book, The happiness equation, and he talks about in the book, this topic of remember the lottery. What he says is that in the entire history of the world, there have been approximate 116 billion people to have lived. Today there's roughly 7.7 billion that are alive. Meaning that roughly if you do the math, 14 out of 15 people who've ever lived on earth are dead. The fact that you woke up this morning means you have already won the lottery. If you wake up and you go, Ah, it's another day.
Russ Johns 32:28
Prof. Pete Alexander 32:29
Ask yourself this question. Is there anyone else in the world having it worse than me right now? If you truly answer that, honestly, it should snap you out. We should have gratitude. If we have gratitude for what we have, whether it's the roof over our head, whether it's food for breakfast, whether it's the car that you drive, whether it's the clothes that you have, whether it's the friends and family that you have, whether it's The great connections that you have, if you have gratitude for that
Russ Johns 33:03
The coffee in my cup
Prof. Pete Alexander 33:04
The coffee in your cup, what happens is you send a positive energy out to the universe. The universe wants to provide you want. It doesn't know, positive or negative only knows it only knows what signals you're sending out. If you keep on saying things like I have a note in my wallet that says, I'm grateful that stuck to $1 bill that's been in my wallet for years, and it says I'm grateful for all the money that has come to me. I look at that and, on my monitor, I have the gift of health is keeping me alive. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Those kind of things if you have gratitude and my wife and I, every night, before we go to bed, I asked her and she asks me, what are you grateful for? My very first one is I'm grateful for my health because all else is secondary. Then I list out the various things come to mind that happened to me during the day that I'm grateful for. I really can't emphasize enough to the listeners to be grateful, because it's a positive energy. If you can get into a mindset of gratitude, everything else will start falling into place.
Russ Johns 33:37
I wake up every morning and the first thing I typically type on my screen is gratitude. It's as a result of like you said, I have a roof over my head. I have clothes in the closet, I have food in the fridge, I have everything I need. I have all my needs are taken care of. It's just, I'm so blessed and fortunate to be where I am, and doing things like this with Professor Pete.
Hey, thank you so much for being here. I really appreciate the fact that we're here and offering some of these tips. And suggestions and recommendations and ideas and thoughts with world and I know that they're you're going to land on somebody and change their day because because realisticallI it's amazing what can take place when you use your mind in a positive way.
Prof. Pete Alexander 35:18
Absolutely well, Russ, it's been an absolute pleasure getting on the show with you. I'm so glad I'm honored to be a pirate now. Get to check that one off my bucket list.
Russ Johns 35:28
Thank you everyone for being here. I wish you all of them. I wish you the best in all your adventures in whatever you're doing over the day or the weekend. Have a fantastic Friday and a wonderful weekend, whatever it happens to be. Also, don't go away. I'm going to wrap it up the show and because you know why everyone because #kindnessiscool and #smilesarefree and you #enjoytheday.
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