Join Linda Tilson on the #PirateBroadcast - russjohns

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And it's another wonderful day here in the pirate broadcast and I'm excited It's another week in February and it's President's Day here in the US and I have a lot going on this week.
And I just wanted to invite another wonderful guest Linda Tilson is here in the room We've been connected for some time. Linda how are you today.

I'm excellent. And I'm glad that we actually get to do this because you're right. We've been connected for quite some time now and so to get to do it face to face is wonderful.

Yeah, it's you know this is fascinating because I had Anton on and I know you guys used to work hand-in-hand and I know you've got a lot of things going on so tell us how you got here on LinkedIn and what's your journey for LinkedIn and what are you doing right now and share with us you know kind of get us caught up to speed on what's happening in your world.

Absolutely. So I got on LinkedIn because I found it was fascinating that it was no longer the application that you would go on to look for a job as much more it was about community building,
about meeting people to participate in projects and that is how Anton and I got started. And so really I learned the value of connection. So when I posted on a few different individuals accounts we started that no the normal posting of likes and comments but then people would say well let's take it offline. So then you'd meet somebody on a zoom call or Facebook or any other medium so you'd actually have a conversation. And so that's when people started asking about what is that you do what inspires and motivates you.
And then you'd find out the person on the other end all said same interests and then you figure out ways to combine them.

Well, I love that in an I read a post by Kurt Merkin Donte over the weekend, and the premise was and it's a multipart post and this is part 1, and this is really important for us to understand and think about because likes and comments don't you know fill the bank account right. And I think a lot of people really limit themselves by thinking that social media is going to solve their problem when in reality social media is just another tool to actually start a conversation. And the idea that he posed was Why don't you start focusing in on your target market to be able to generate leads for your business rather than just posting general things in hope and everybody likes it. Right.


So I know that in the in the process of generating conversation and everything else. One of my goals is there's a lot of people that can use kindness in their world you know and there's a lot of people that can just find out what other people are doing so they have an opportunity to share something about what they're doing and it's always fascinating to me about what people do and how they do it and why they do it you know it's like so you're doing what you're doing right now which is we'll get into but it's because you took a journey to get there right.


There was not. It's not a straight line it's not like you woke up one day and said hey this is what I'm going to do. It's kind of like back and forth and it's like OK well I tried this.
That didn't really feel like I wanted to do that anymore. Then you did something else and you know we had this opportunity to try a bunch of different things as we develop our careers.
So talk about how you got to where you are what is it that you do to help people and how do you know you have a podcast and you're doing this thing so kind of get a sharper focus on what Linda is doing right now.

OK. And so you're right that as you go through different experiences you can find out what you're good at and what you like to do and you also can find out some of the things that.
Maybe don't really fit. We should be doing and so one of the things I like to share with people through my interactions is do the things that energize you and do more of them and when you do that it's infectious. And really I never thought that I would be doing my own podcast. So I always thought that it would be fun to be on other people's podcasts. So the paradigm shifted when I actually commented on a post and the Post asked For Mark Metry what is your podcast if you have one and who is your ideal guest and then you said the flip side who would you be an ideal guest for and so again I put something on there and I ended up getting a couple of leads which was wonderful but I was surprised that one of them wanted to be on mine OK because I'm new at the podcasting and so I thought well this person has been on hundreds of them and then here they are they want to be on mine I'm doing the right thing. And the theme that I picked is resiliency. And the reason why I've picked that and something that stood out to me as I heard on a TED talk is that adversity does not discriminate. I thought that's powerful but simple. It's simple but really it doesn't come things don't come when you can take care of them best and so the whole idea around resiliency and I've been I guess a real advocate in saying that society's view of resiliency and mine are a lot different. Well I think society says you should adapt and overcome and the moment that you started doing the adapting you might be able to overcome but not until you get to that inner self when you figure out the things are going on that either moving towards resiliency or take you away. And for each person that's very different and personal and when I started doing some research on the things that would help people I was realizing that if you can take six categories of wellness and you can break those down and really answer each question individually with a lot of thought help and hinder, it can move you to a place of much deeper reflection where you can start to build a plan around when these stressors or triggers come what you can do to either not experience them at all or if you do experience and not to stay there for very long and so I just think it's really important to help people not be the victim. Get out of stuck mode and so that's been my area of focus.

I love that. Let's break it down a little bit because I think there's a lot of information shared that it's like OK. Her resiliency in adversity there's no discrimination whatsoever. Right. Yeah.
And it's on both sides of the equation because when you come up against one person's crisis may be another person's no big deal.


And it's because of what we're doing inside ourselves and how we react and respond to those individuals let's say triggers or episodes in our life right.


So. So just to make sure I'm framing this correctly and maybe you can go a little deeper on this is like whether it be losing a job, a spouse, a parent or winning a prize or you know getting a promotion or doing these things there's excitement and enthusiasm or an emotional attachment to these things. Right.


And I think that there's for myself this is just me and this is you know I try not to get too excited or too depressed over anything. It's an experience and I just notice that experience and say OK well how does it impact me and how does it affect me. How do I feel about it. Because I've had you know a lot of adversity I've had a lot of experience I've had a lot of excitement.
I've had good things and bad things and I'm becoming to the point in my life where it's like I just have that I just notice these experiences you know. And, it gives me balance in my life. And I know a lot of people get upset and really depressed and lot of anxiety and anxiousness. So how do we learn how to navigate from one to the next and where does that take us and how do we learn how to change our emotional state.

That's a very good question and I'll try to unpack that the best that I can. But by looking at all the six areas they bleed into each other and so if you're looking at your physical you know you need to make sure that you're getting proper rest you're eating properly exercising if you're not doing that something happens to you that's stressful you're not gonna react in the way you should and which is you should respond not react if you're in a place where your emotional state you're saying that you can go far into depression or you can go too far into the excitement.
You've got to really know what you need from yourself and others to be able to navigate that and so one is by taking the inventory you get a deeper sense of self and then as you identify the different triggers or the things that help you then you're able to think about what is resiliency look like for Linda, you know what is resilience you look like for Russ and when you can have that picture to frame what that would look like because you know what it doesn't look like the analogy that I like to use if you blow up a balloon and you let it go across the room you're all over the place right so that is where you don't want to be but where you want to be is that calm collected place where you're confident in what you're doing you're moving through life and sure things are gonna come at you but you're not going to get stuck in that deep place and so by knowing your triggers and by knowing that ideal state the other piece is you've got to have some action items that will go towards that because you can say I want to be resilient I want to react or respond well to things and if you don't put the actions to it you're not going to get there in quite the same way and so I encourage people to really take the inventory. Once you sit down and do the inventory you have the foundation that you can work from. And then you look at your current state of where you are and where you need to get to that makes any sense.

Well yeah, it does. It's you know you we all have deficits and I think we're blind a lot of times the truth of what our state is right. Yes. And when we decide we want to really focus in on our true selves, and take inventory on what our skills and our abilities are and some of the emotional attachments we have to things, then it all it always you know we can't lie to ourselves when we have an inventory of reality. Right.

Well you can but it's not going to help you move forward or it's not over yet. Yeah go.

So really when you boil it down you say OK this is who I am and this is why I'm here and this is some of the things that I can offer the world and I think the more clarity we have in our world the better off we are. And that's what's really brought me a lot of peace because you know investigating who I am and some of the things that I find joy in some of the triggers that are attached to my ideas and thoughts and when I develop that process and I know what I'm not doing unconsciously or anything like that I'm just going through the experiences it's so much more peaceful like it is.

So your definition of resiliency is being in that peaceful state. And I have to agree with you that for me it's showing up to who I am and not adapting to what someone else wants me to be because that was one of my things every time I had to change who I was to be able to exist in a certain environment and it wasn't serving me and so I knew that sometimes my choices as I need to leave the place that's not serving me and so I've done that and believe me if you're a high performing person the whole idea of quitting and moving on that doesn't sit well.
But what I realized when I left the situations when I took that inventory there weren't for me that I was able to take myself to a whole nother level and definitely peace is one of them,

Well, I try to find I work really hard to find some joy every day in my life you know and get centered in that and I think it's really good in this show really helps me do that because I see new perspectives. I understand what other people are doing around me and I could take inventory and how that relates to what I'm doing and how I can fit in in this thing we called the world.
I want to give a shout out to a few people on here on the on the pirate broadcast and I just think. Thank you so much for everyone being here today all the gratitude.
I love that you're here. Gabriel, Brenda out of Metro Detroit, Marius, Lisa, Amy Kilgore. Hey Amy. Love your posts by the way and. Lisa loves the kindness journey. Amy Kilgore Good morning. Sherri Lally Good morning pirate crew here. WENDY Good morning Wendy, Maureen. How are you. Sending love Lisa Fenton. Thank you so much. Pirate crew Steve Sullivan amazing have a wonderful day. There are so many people here that really Vicki O'Neill thank you so much for being here. I'm just trying to read this in my non-caffeinated eyes,
though. Angie thank you so much for being here. Important understand triggers that are so key sometimes identifying the root cause of the problem knowing who and where to turn to is helpful.
Vicki that's wise that's wisdom beyond years. I know when we're honest with ourselves it helps determine next steps. So talk about that you know once we know and this is a continuous process and my thought process is you're building a muscle.

Oh, so it' like pulling a muscle you can let it relapse or you can make it stronger. You're not done you're always going to be working as long as your alive.

Yeah, and I know that you know some of them you know Stoic philosophy is that, you know if you just notice things around you rather than react to them you know it's really it kind of balances out and in a way that we can actually be more observant and more responsible. And I think being responsible for who we are is really key to our growth because we don't necessarily want to be a victim like you said don't be a victim don't, don't say poor pitiful me. You have a choice. You have an opportunity to change the way you respond and react to things and circumstances. Right.

Yes absolutely.

What are some of the tools we can use to really initiate some little changes in our world and maybe just start thinking about this in a positive way.

OK well, you touched upon some of them. So you're also looking at the things that will guide you in the right direction so being grateful for where you are. Maybe if you are able to have a situation where you would normally have been triggered and done something that wasn't responsible or something that wasn't helping you that you when you realize that you're like Oh why responded a little bit better this time. Give yourself some grace and credit when you're making the small steps towards where you're going. That's one thing. The gratitude is always huge about thinking about things as being full rather than empty. Another thing is using your support systems and so reaching out for help is not a bad thing it's actually a good thing

I am going to phone a friend here. I'm having a trigger.

Yes. And so for different people it's in it comes up in different forms because you talked about being stoic. Well for me I had someone tell me when things were difficult to be like Teflon. Let it bounce off of you. I'm like I'm too emotional when a person's are just like not care. Let it bounce off. But I found some other ways that maybe we were similar but that wasn't for me. And so people will give you ideas of what can work and maybe I'll work for you and maybe it won't. And you can try different things and so what I found really worked in the past is just having a conversation of heart to heart with somebody else that had that place where they could listen without judgment and just give me another perspective getting other perspectives of how to enter into a situation that's tough is one of the things that helped and, not that long ago I had a conversation with somebody, that had a similar, thing happen to them and I'm thinking I wish I would've heard that about six months ago because that really would have helped me. Hearing your story of how they worked in an environment that wasn't the best and it was hard and they eventually were able to leave the environment and come out on the other side and they were highly successful. So the storytelling with another person. That's another great strategy.

I really. I can reflect on that because many times whether it's friends or family you know just talking through a process and a circumstance it's like well, can you change it. Do you have influence over it. Yes or no, can you do anything about it does worry help you process this. No it's like a reality distortion field that we get in this bubble or we're really emotionally triggered or you know the amplification of our emotions just like blow up and it's really hard to see and take inventory of ourselves when we're in that moment right.

Yes. Is and that's what I'm saying is that when you start to figure out the triggers by doing the inventory you can catch yourself, and you just you touched upon something that I have to mention is we start thinking about the things that you can control and the things that you can not you can control yourself you can't control anyone else. And I like something that so I'm brought up once and so I'm real big into pictures and analogies. And so once someone said that imagine yourself in a hula hoop so you can decide who can come in and who can stay out.
so when you get into that frame where you're experiencing something that you want to have control over and it's another person you can decide to let them come into your hula hoop or not right. And so you can influence them you can tell them how you feel but then the day you can't change the way they might view the world they have to come to what that is and so I see a whole lot about telling people what you need from them because sometimes you need people to come in or not come in in a certain way and if you don't voice that they're never going to know so that is another strategy as well so that when I've had to learn boundaries I always thought of boundaries as bad and that's because I'm a very open giving caring person and so I'm not looking to keep people out I like to have people coming in. But at some point. Boundaries help you be safe and then when you're saying what you don't need from somebody you know that's healthy behavior and that's one that I had to develop and so you know when you're working through resiliency you're not always going to do it right. You're going to have that balloon going around the room that you're going to have that happen a lot a lot less often as you as you really get into it yourself.

Well, I think you I think really a key point that you brought up there was this boundaries idea because, there are some times where you just need to vent and you just need someone to listen and not necessarily help you solve a problem. There's not a problem that you want to solve you just need to let it out voice your thoughts so you can articulate an idea to get it you know kind of develop it a little further. And then sometimes you needs someone to actually be tough love and say Russ you're not really thinking this through clearly. It's a couple of key points you need to consider. It's like don't be a victim. You know it's like OK that's when you want a friend that can really call you out on your on your victimhood right.

Yes I have friends on both lines and it's wonderful when you know there's times like you said you need to vent need to do it to the right person cause some people that's not for them.
And see I know that to an extent you have to ask permission before you know for some individuals. And so that's important to keep into perspective. And then there's the other ones like you said they got to say Linda you're in the victim mode you need to get out of that. This is what I observe you doing. Have you considered trying this. And so that whole being coached or coaching someone that's always live and relevant

Yeah, yeah it is. And you're not always aware internally about the friend that you need until the process starts you know you have to create the boundary as this process is going through the process. You know

It is because sometimes you could be venting and another person feels like you're unloading your baggage so you don't want to have that for the person that's not being kind. and so. Yes.

So you're starting a podcast you're getting this podcast under way what's the podcast called.

OK. So that podcast is called Guiding Light and how I came up with the name is because I've been working with a branding coach Rich Keller and he has taught me so much so.
Everyone has an idea of what they bring as their gifts but when you can really isolate it down into one word and you can live that as your truth it becomes so powerful and so my word is beacon so being that guiding light, and you know helping frame up things for other people and, they're doing the work to do what they need to do to whether they're moving towards resiliency or they are working on their confidence or they're going out to interview for a position. All of those things are interconnected in really empowering and lighting up somebodies life because you know when someone believes in you you can. The sky's the limit. When you feel good about what you're doing you can apply it to all areas of your life. And so at a young age I've always been that person there that people could come to that I would offer perspectives I would shine the light when it was dark. In some cases and I just want people to be able to have that grace with themselves. That confidence to move forward in whatever it is and so for me having the podcast, I have people that have lived in adverse moments or an adverse period of their life. And so when they come on my show they're able to talk with humility about where they were the things that they did to move over to where they are now, and again that storytelling is so inspiring if you can see somebody else that went through all these things that maybe that little thing that's been triggering you and not, standing in your way. It's not so bad anymore.
I mean and it's not to say that one person's adverse moment is any more than somebody else's because that's not it.

Yeah, and it's not for us to judge what level of adversity is someone else going through because of their circumstances. I mean have a little compassion and empathy for others going through whatever they're going through. You know that's just kind of like you're having your opinion on how you're feeling it's part of the judgment and it's just you know. That's why I really I really you know kindness is cool and and it's something that we could all share regardless of our circumstance or adversity. And I believe that you know people like yourself that are you know a beacon in this world shining their light out saying hey there is hope there is kindness there is a little bit of belief and faith in humanity here so let us kind of stick together make sure we're traveling the same direction we're all flying through the universe of the planet you know it's like same sunshine same oxygen. Let's get together and do this thing in a positive way. Let's not worry about the negative circumstances. And I really applaud you for starting that out. And I believe that everyone has a voice. You know I'm creating some amazing things. And you know I see others around me that are doing some amazing things like you know creating the guiding light in a podcast. And hopefully, you know we can tune in and check it out and see what you're doing and leave it in the comments Linda and make sure that you share that with the audience in the last segment and it's really about what we can contribute to others around us.
Is that circumstance that we can actually generate a little bit of enthusiasm about what we're doing in life. And I think it goes back to like you mentioned when we're confident about what is going on around us and we're confident about what we're doing because we know and understand and we've taken that inventory of our life, we've taken that inventory of how we feel about things and the circumstances we're in and, the direction we want to go, and have a little intention. I think it's a really powerful tool.

So having that visualization and intention combined with the things that you can do you do all three you can have the a home run.

Yeah. So how do people and what is Just before we wrap up here Linda I want to make sure that if you had one thing to share with the universe today you know everybody in the world and in the community here. What would you want to share to make a difference today.

I think what I would want to share is that life is what you make it. And we all have a voice in it. And as long as we have faith hope and love all things are possible.

I love that, so thank you so much. I know that we can actually improve our circumstance around us we can improve the thoughts and the feelings we're having toward others we can sit in traffic and not have to be panicked about what's going on. And I'd just like find a little joy in your day. So what do you do. What do you do for you know laughing and being happy nowadays.

I think it's still the same as you know I need to be connected with people and so whether I'm at work whether I'm on LinkedIn or any of the other social channels.It's always my goal to just bring happiness to everywhere I go. And if somebody needs an ear to listen I'm there. If somebody wants to celebrate an achievement I'm there. And so that's what makes me happy is to be in both of those worlds where you can do one small thing for somebody and they can become the biggest thing for them. And you just never know when those moments are. So just being kind every day is for me it brings me joy.

Fantastic. Oh Linda thank you so much for being here. I'm fortunate that we had an opportunity to connect and talk about a little bit of your emotional states your attitudes how to get unstuck from your your self you know. Change your circle and enjoy life a little bit more. So thank you all of all gratitude in the world and I appreciate you. And I'm glad that we're connected so that as always
and you #Enjoytheday
Thank you Linda.
Much love. Thank you.

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