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Catch Tripp Lanier on the #PirateBroadcast™

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I love sharing what others are doing to create, add value, and help in their community. 

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Audio digitally transcribed by Otter.ai

Introduction 0:02
Welcome to the #PirateBroadcast™, where we interview #interestingpeople doing #interestingthings. Where you can expand your connections, your community, #kindnessiscool and #smilesarefree. Let’s get this party started.

Russ Johns 0:20
And it's a great day for a #PirateBroadcast™. And we're here with Tripp, and we are going to talk about life, liberty and the pursuit of whatever we're pursuing in 2021. And making a difference making it matter, Tripp. Good morning. How are you my friend?

Tripp Lanier 0:38
I'm well, Russ, thanks for having me. Appreciate that intro too.

Russ Johns 0:41
Yeah, that was fun. Yeah, you know, those that may not be familiar with Tripp and who you are and what you're all about? Can you give us a two minute stretch on somebody that would recognize who you are? And, and how people can relate to what you're doing and who you are?

Tripp Lanier 1:01
Yeah, well, I would say that, I was fortunate enough to start a company five months out of college, I went to art school. So I don't know anything about business. But I was able to build that business that, you know, one of my dreams I built something to support the lifestyle that I wanted. And I was able to make music and have my own record label and travel and surf. And it all looked amazing from the outside. And yet something was missing. And I thought I was just being a pansy and, you know, spoiled brat. And something must be wrong. But actually I was, you know, out of alignment, I was out of alignment with my deeper values and who I was becoming. That meant that I slowly transitioned into becoming a professional coach, people these days might know me more as the host of the new man podcast, which has been going for 13 years. But my coaching work has been going for 15 years, and I coach, mainly men, primarily people that are similar to me in the sense of like, hey, there's, there's gotta be more to life than just chasing a buck, and trying to impress people and, you know, convincing ourselves that there's always a monster around the next corner. So it's about, okay, I want to do well for myself. But I also want to do really good things in the world, and I want to be paid well for it, too.

Russ Johns 2:11
Yeah. Well, and I can totally relate, and I'm sure so many people can actually kind of resonate with that idea that, you know, the dream that I had and the things that I chased, when it arrived, never fulfilled who I was. And that journey is always a challenging one, because we plant in our mind's eye, this thing that we're going to get to once we get there, and then even if you get there, sometimes the the dream life turns into a nightmare. You know, that was my case, you know, it's like I had all of the things, I had all the things, you know, great at all the things, and I was completely miserable, you know? So you have to really step back and investigate. How, as a coach, do you instill this, plant this seed and nurture this idea that, you know, sometimes it's give and take, and you have to kind of discover who you are? Before you discover how you fulfill who you need to be?

Tripp Lanier 3:19
Yeah, well, I think most of us are making an excuse, I don't have time to figure out who I am, I've got to survive. I've got bills to pay, I got kids that need food, and college education. And those are all really valid, very valid concerns. But most of us have approached success from a survival or what I call a prey mentality, meaning that we really believe and this is one of the reasons why we find success. unfulfilling is that we really believe we're going to get to this finish line where we're finally going to feel comfortable once and for all, we're never gonna have to be uncomfortable again, we're never going to feel vulnerable ever again, we really believe we're going to reach this place, we're going to finally feel certain and safe once and for all, there's no, there's never going to be a thing we have to be concerned about that's coming around the corner. And then third thing is we really believe we're going to get to this place where we no longer are vulnerable to any kind of criticism or judgment or looking like a moron. And so what happens is we arrive at these these places. And I said, Well, I thought it would be different when I got here, I must be doing it wrong. And so I can't I can't spend time doing the fulfilling stuff. I can't do the things that actually nourish me. I've got to get to this place first. And I think that's the trap. One of my coaches Phil Stutz calls it exoneration, his belief that we're going to get to this place where we are exonerated from this pain and this insecurity and the effort of life once and for all. And so that to answer your question, it's to helping people come back and say, you're always going to be uncomfortable to some degree, you're always going to be in some kind of uncertainty, and you're always going to be at risk of looking like a moron. So with those things is a given. Let's look at your challenges. And let's see which ones you're trying to outrun once and for all. And let's start to see, are there things that we could be doing, we could spend more of our time and energy on today, knowing that you're never going to get a green light or a tap on the shoulder saying, hey, you're set it, you can forget about it, now.

Russ Johns 5:15
You're on cruise control, you know, cruise control, so you're never on cruise control. And I think I think a lot of people need to understand that discomfort is the space in which we continue to grow. You know, that's where expansion takes place, that's where we can actually expand our skill set, our knowledge, our understanding of who we are, and what we're doing. You know, it's like my lifestyle, my, you know, my career path is, it looks more like a pinball machine than, than a trajectory of a rocket. Like, it's still enjoyed many circumstances, and many, many experiences. And I continue to grow, I like to, I like to learn something every day. And I like to pursue, you know, being a better person tomorrow than I was yesterday. And I think that's really where my comfort level is. If I can help somebody, I can learn something, and I can improve who I was yesterday that, to me, it feels like success.

Tripp Lanier 6:17
Right? I love the way you put that. And I think that for a lot of us out there we I think we have to go through a period, maybe it's a year, maybe it's six months, maybe it's 60 years, where we've, we got to run this hamster wheel for a little while. And we got to learn this places. And wait a second, is this really what life's all about for me? And then there's that turn right? Am I going to turn from this fixed mentality where I really want to believe that life is this linear path, you know, I get the good grades, I get the good schools, I get the good job. So I get the good marriage, I get the good house, like all this other stuff. And we start to recognize that life is seemingly chaotic life is that pinball machine, which is full of risk, which is full of uncertainty, and full of discomfort, and most of us just don't want that we really are hoping that there's this magical path. You know, as a podcast host, I get sent a lot of books by well meaning authors, but I throw most of them in the trash, because most of them are perpetuating this idea that life can be this ABC steps, you know, 123 kind of approach where I think it's more closer to art, it's more like, hey, let's get in there. We got to roll up our sleeves and, and see what happens through experience through gathering data. And most of us just don't want to do that we want the perfect plan first.

Russ Johns 7:26
Well, and and, you know, I really could relate to your story is like, Yeah, I was a musician. I played professionally. And the best years of my life were skiing during the day and playing music at night, and having a great lifestyle. You know, it was amazing to me to be able to do that. And that all turned and that changed when I fell three stories and broke my arm and shattered my wrist and you know, two years in rehab. And so sometimes our trajectory, and our lifestyle and our experience changes. And sometimes it's changed for us. And I think there's still a lesson in that and understanding how we can actually react and respond to circumstances because like, just like you, you knew something was missing in your life. Even though on the outside everybody has said man Tripp's got it, man. He's like, he's like the bomb. He's like knocking it off the park. It's like, life is great. And you know, he's out surfing today. And still you're feeling unfulfilled. So what's a major step that you took? What was it? What was a transition in your world? You know, mine was gravity. What was your? What was your change in your direction? What prompted that for you?

Tripp Lanier 8:50
Well, the first thing I wanted to say is that, you know, we're talking about growth and we're talking about essentially we talk about surrender, right? We're talking about surrendering to a process something that's larger than us. And I will tell you this day I still kick and scream and drag my heels into some of these places. It's not a fun even though I can grasp this mentally even though I've gone through these ordeals many times in my life before there's still a part was like are you kidding me? Man? Like we got to do I thought but then the other ones count like am I so I just want to say that as we're speaking here that there's not some place where you get to and you're like, Oh, sweet, another ordeal another dragon to you know...

Russ Johns 9:29
A dragon to slay.

Tripp Lanier 9:31
Yeah, like God dammit, I thought I was done so I just want to name that. Like if you're waking up and you got a dragon to slay this morning and it's a pain in the ass. Yeah, it's Yeah, I get it like I don't know but let's you're not doing it wrong. If it's still a pain in the ass. I just want to say that.

Russ Johns 9:48
You are okay, you're okay.

Tripp Lanier 9:51
Yes, and I just don't like that that thing of like, Oh, great. You know, I'm, you know, Chuck Norris. I'm going to take on my dragons. You know, it's like if that helps, you know, put on your kung fu music and go knock it out, you know, so, but I think to come back to your question, I think the shift is, instead of asking ourselves, what should I do? Or what's my life supposed supposed to look like? Which is most, a lot of the exterior, I call it, I call it external authority, right? Life tells us how we're supposed to be. We've been told from an early age, how to act and how to dress and how to move through life, here's what you do. And we never really learn how to tap into our inner authority, which is asking the question, okay, given this is my reality, then what do I want?

Russ Johns 10:34
Well, I think it's, I think, and I want to ask it a little different way. And I want to phrase it a little different way is, is like, we get to a place where everything looks like it should be okay. And you know, it's not. And we have, we have to make a choice, we have to make a decision. What the hell am I going to do to change things? Because I know if I stay here, I'm not going to be, I'm not going to be well, it's not going to be good thing. So I have to choose I don't I, I may not know where I need to go. I just need to, I just know that I need to go somewhere besides where I am.

Tripp Lanier 11:15
Right? Well, I think I think it's shifting most but most most people I talked to you just have this. They're so excited. And they're so really driven by this idea of purpose. And how can I find my purpose in life. And I said, Well, you've already got one, whether you realize it or not. And most of the time, if we look at your actions, your day to day actions, you have abided you have committed to avoiding discomfort, avoiding any kind of uncertainty or risk, avoiding anything that would give you any criticism. And this is added up to you having the life that looks amazing, but doesn't feel right, feels off feels like you're in somebody else's life. And so I say if, if that's not the purpose, then we want to shift it. So instead of feeling trapped in this place, what is it tells me that you want to feel free, instead of feeling drained from this life tells me you want to feel alive instead of isolated, like, wow, I'm surrounded by all these people. But I don't think anybody really gets me. Nobody wants to talk about the things I like to talk about. We want to feel genuinely seen and connected to others and loved for who we are, instead of feeling bored, overwhelmed, chronically worried, we want a deep sense of peace, peace of mind. So I say let's shift from that. Let's shift from how things are supposed to look and meeting expectations of who we think we're supposed to be, and start to come back to this internal compass. And how could we on a day to day basis like in the most small, tiny, mundane ways, start to allow more freedom into your life start to allow more aliveness into your life start to allow more genuine love genuine connection in your life start to allow greater peace of mind. And most of the time people kind of bucket this idea because they again, they want another vision Just tell me what to do. Show me what it looks like. Show me the path that

Russ Johns 12:56
ABC is one can you give me the roadmap, I mean treasure map for the pirate, pirate treasure.

Tripp Lanier 13:02
And there's plenty of guys on stage, little mics hanging off the cheek that will tell you the roadmap, like you just got to do ABC and then you buy my program for x billions of dollars and whatever and you're on your way. So I'm saying that if you want to come back to this internal authority, this inner authority, it's guiding you right? Like that drain is information. It's not something we need to numb. It's not like oh, I'm feeling that draining feeling again, let me get some alcohol. Let me go look at porn. Let me go lose myself in a screen, right? Coming back and say, Well, if I'm feeling drained, then what would have me feel more alive? Hmm. All right, well, what would help me feel more alive is maybe I go for a bike ride with a you know, with some buddies and go do something a little bit dangerous. That is it feels a little dangerous, but it's actually not that dangerous. But I get out there or maybe I go up on stage again and I perform for somebody, that's where I feel alive. It's starting to reconnect to those things. Oh, that feels dangerous. What will they think of me your backup against that purpose that we had before which is avoid discomfort, avoid risk avoid looking like a moron. And so the book that I wrote was called This Book Will Make You Dangerous and it's because it's about easing into those places that feel dangerous to our need to be comfort and safe. And you know, always looking good.

Russ Johns 14:10
Well, I I can relate, I can. I can completely relate and you know, having a podcast and being in the industry and you know, learning and understanding this media, and the opportunity to share these ideas is incredibly powerful. And I want to I want to also include, I want to take a minute here trip and say hi to a few people. Russ Hedge an amazing individual out of Oregon and doing some great work. Lorrie Scott, the queen of green doing some amazing gardening efforts there. Russ says such a great information you and I have to connect Tripp. Looking forward to it. Astora Good morning. Hiett Ives is out of Houston. Thanks, Hiett, good morning, y'all. Kelsey, Kelsey, you know, I think everybody should start a live stream. Don't you think so, Kelsey. I love this information, Lorrie says, Mitch says, danger is where all the growth happens. So, and then there's Kelly, good morning from New York City, roadmap ha, outside world sees the tip of the iceberg. But below the surface are blood, sweat and tears. True story, Kelly. You know, I don't talk to very many people that have been in podcasting as long as you have. You know, it's I, I taught a podcast movement, I did podcasts, I was in radio, my background after I fell and got into music. I was in outdoor advertising, radio and television, and I've seen it evolve and grow and take place. What has your experience been over the last number of years that you've been in podcasting, and communicating in this format?

Tripp Lanier 16:09
What's my experience been? I think that it's always come back to I've seen these trends go. And I've never, I've never identified as a podcaster. I've always been a coach that had a podcast, I started out as a coach. And one of the one of my clients was, were these startup founders at a, at a little company that was trying to build a podcast network. And they're like, Hey, man, you should have your own show. And we'll set it up for you and blah, blah. And that's, that's how it started. It wasn't like, I'm gonna have a podcast one day, it was like, Alright, cool. Let's start it up. Can I curse? Yeah, okay, great, then I'll do it. So I never identified myself as a podcaster. But I've always just come back to as the trends go up and down, I see these people I've been interviewed by people ask the same five questions or 10 questions. And so it's just like, it's not human, they don't know how to make have human connection. They don't know how to follow their genuine curiosity and to have a conversation like you and I are having. And I find that really tapping into that I think most of us just want to hear a great connection. Or, like, when I'm talking to somebody, I'm thinking about my clients, I'm thinking about if my client was in the room right now, what question Would he love me to ask? Or what would he want to ask this person, and that's where my coaching can inform what I'm working with. And I get emails from people's like, man, it's like you're inside my head, it's like you, you understand what I'm what I'm thinking about talking about. I think that that's far, far, far more valuable than all this other whiz bang, kind of these trends that come and go, where people are wanting to make a splash. But they really don't know how to connect, they don't know how to tap into their own curiosity. They don't know how to genuinely care about something. And they'll move on to the next flashy thing in a few years, because they don't have the discipline to stick it out. So I couldn't tell you much about the surface of podcasting and how things have changed on that level, because I don't pay attention to that. But I do come back to what would I want to hear if I was in this situation? What would serve me? And that's just that's been the beacon, that's been the thing that I follow, you know?

Russ Johns 18:08
Well, and that's why I format the show the way I do is because it's conversations I want to have, like, right? Tripp looks like a cool guy. I don't know, maybe, maybe not. Could be good. Could be bad. Let's see, let's find out. And the reality is, is that, and the reason I bring it up is because I believe, especially in the coaching industry, you know, and somebody, anybody that is in an in a place that requires transformation, you know, I don't believe that you can teach without learning something. So in this exchange of ideas, and this conversations that we take place, that take place for us is something that we have to really get good at, in order to really grow and expand in our lives. And I think, you know, having a podcast or writing a book or coaching other people is such a, an exchange of ideas that we can't help but grow in it. So what are some areas that you've really expanded your life and your ideas and your just your thought process in this journey that you've had in coaching last few decades?

Tripp Lanier 19:23
Well, I say that, you know, I was fortunate in my first business that that clients came rather easily I was plugged into a small network and a lot of work came to me easily so I never had to learn how to do marketing or sales. Like I just did good work and people. I just took it for granted.

Russ Johns 19:39
You had a great network.

Tripp Lanier 19:41
I had a great network. And then when I was becoming a coach, I I developed this podcast and I my coaching I hadn't quite put the pieces together on the marketing and sales piece for being a coach. Nonetheless, I had this podcast was back in the wild west and a lot of people listening. And I was like, why aren't? Why isn't anybody like what's going on? And I was really frustrated, and I couldn't figure it out. And I was having a, I was having a drink with my dad on Christmas night, one year. This was years ago. And he's like, you know, I listened to your podcast, and I get your emails. And he's like, I don't know why anybody would hire you. And I was like, just, it was like a stake in the chest. I thought about what he said. I remember laying in bed. Yeah, you know, I should say this. And I should say, but I remember laying in bed. I was like, what did he say? He's like, I don't know why anybody should hire you if he's paying attention to my stuff. And he doesn't know what the offer is. That's what he was saying. He's like, I just don't understand where...he couldn't connect it. And I remember that was transformative. In that moment, I was like, I need to be more clear of what the value of coaching is. I'm assuming that people understand what I'm offering. And I'm taking it personally, that people aren't buying it. Yeah, long story short, and this is that....

Russ Johns 20:59
The transformation came through the pain of hearing that from you.

Tripp Lanier 21:04
Well, the transformation also came from taking action, right. So it took smart action, which was, okay, I need to start translating the need to start telling people stories, like what is coaching? How has coaching helped other people, I just started telling those stories, whether it was in emails, whether it was in the in the podcast itself, and what I do not like, within a few weeks, I'd filled up my coaching practice. Yeah, so. But going from that place is like Poor me, something must be wrong with me, the universe is punishing me. You know, people don't like me anyway, that was like, whatever, that this is unfair, that this kind of victimy thing that was happening, which I hate to admit. But that was going on underneath, to just getting brass tacks and being like, Okay, what would have me buy this? Right? What, what do I need to understand before I would invest in this, and then understand that process that was transformative, and that was transformative, not just for me as a business person, as an entrepreneur, but that was transformative for me as a person like that, that that walking that path, as somebody who owns a business, I see it over and over again, with so many of my clients that it transforms who they are as people, when they understand what they're bringing to the world, and to really meet the world and say, I want to serve you, I want to bring something powerful, but I also want to do something that's aligned with my values. When I'm not hiding behind somebody else's brand anymore, I'm not hiding behind somebody else's shield or somebody else's logo, I'm going to bring my thing to the world. That is a transformative path. And I've seen it over and over again.

Russ Johns 22:31
And getting crystal clear on what your offer actually is.

Tripp Lanier 22:34
And why and it's like, oh, it's this is just a hobby for me like this is I'm bringing it, this is what I want to do before I die. I want to bring this work to the world, I want to make this difference in the world. And I want to do it in a way that's sustainable. It's not a hobby. Yeah, it's not a hobby.

Russ Johns 22:47
I have been accused of being the worst person at self promotion. I grew a network in Houston, over 1000 people, and there's still people today that I'm still connected with that have no idea what I do. And I'm thinking myself, when you're saying this, you know, it's like, I am so guilty, and so guilty of being unclear on how I can add value to your world. And it's really tragic, in a lot of ways. And so this year, that's one of my major goals is to boil down this message. Make sure because the #PirateBroadcast™ is is really a tool to power. The #PirateSyndicate™. And the #PirateSyndicate™ is the platform that allows me to produce shows for other people, to teach producers how to produce shows for other people, and also teach people that may not want to, may not have a team or a whole bunch of people that want to learn all the skills to create their own show just like this and after over 330 shows, you know, it's I've got this system fairly well down and it's pretty streamlined, it's pretty comfortable for people to get on and, you know, have a conversation just like this. And so, boiling that message down has not been a straight line, you know, it's more like the pinball path, it's like, okay, need to figure out what needs to come next and how it needs to be messaged and who is actually is for and who who's gonna be attracted to this, this platform. And I truly believe in video and I believe in audio and podcasting and the whole industry. And it's just amazing to me to to go through this process and say, okay, stop the squirrel hunting. Focus on one thing, like you said, the discipline of completing something, you know, don't be bouncing around from thing to thing to thing just because it doesn't work the first time you try it out.

Tripp Lanier 24:49
You said something really powerful in there. One of my coaches, Daniel Priestley. I talked about this in the book. He says, you know, we all look at the guy who is the arrogant self promoter. I can't think of anybody off the top of my head, but I think we all know somebody in our life that is the arrogant, look how great I am, he tends to hype or inflate what he can do. And we all know, very few of us want to be that person with very few of us want to bring that to our professional world, and often we look down on that type. So what do we tend to do? We tend to deflate the truth, we tend to deflate what we do, oh, shucks, you know, I'm on I don't I don't do it. Yeah, I don't I just hide it back here. And I'm going to tuck it away. And he kind of brought I was like, what if you were a doctor, and somebody needs your help? And you're like, ah, shucks, you know, you know, I can really, I don't really, you know, I'm at a party right now, I don't want to talk about that. It's like, you're doing a disservice to the world bottom line, you'd be the jerk. Not you, but that guy that has something that would help really help people, somebody's got a message, you want to bring out the world, like whatever that thing is, when we hide out, we are, we're still in that egoic game. On one level, we want to inflate how good we look. And on the other level, we're still looking in the mirror like does my butt look big here. I don't want people to, you know, to criticize how I look, we're still in this place where we're not making it about the people who we want to serve. When we shift into that, who do I want to serve? And suddenly, what do I look like is we don't think about that as much. It's just like, I know, this is going to help my my, this guy, Tim, and I'm going to ask this question for my buddy, Tim. And I'm going to get this out there. It's not about what do I look like. So we stopped inflating who we are. But we also stopped deflating who we are. And we simply bring our thing to the world now.

Russ Johns 26:37
Well, I think that's important to understand. And for anybody listening today, or in the future, or any, anytime. I believe that everyone has a gift, everybody has a message that they can share. And not everybody's willing to share their message, their gifts. However, my goal and my mission in life is to create an opportunity for everyone that wants to share their gifts and their message to do it in a way that makes it easy for them to access. And so, you know, going out there and putting this together, because the technology is, we're living in an amazing time, you know, we can pick up a mic, you can broadcast immediately, you know, years ago in the broadcasting world that when you had to do a remote or go someplace, you know, a truck, a satellite dish, you know, an engineer to your microphones and cables and everything else, just to get the broadcast out the door. Now you just pick up your phone and start talking. And a lot of people fail to realize how incredibly lucky we are, or fortunate we are to have this opportunity right now and document our, our direction, and our choices in our lives. So it's really amazing for me to have people like you talking about this on the show today.

Tripp Lanier 27:57
Yeah, how do we empower others? I think when we come back to meaning, we haven't talked about meaning yet today. But that, firstly, we were talking about that guy's like, hey, I just got to do well in the world, I got to make my money, and I got to do this thing. And then it's like, okay, I gotta, I gotta make my money. And I got to do well, because I want to support my family. Yeah. And then there's this next level of development, which is what I can support my family. And I can support myself, but I've got something else to give. And now we're in that we're tapping into that, that that, whatever that is, that's bigger than us. And the key to our peace of mind is providing something that that helps or empowers or builds up something bigger than us or contributes to something bigger than us. Legacy, we ignore that when we ignore how important meaning is in our life, then we could be doing, quote, good work, but it won't have the same satisfaction. And so a lot of times when guys come to me and say I think I need to leave my career, I think I need to move on or whatever. Oftentimes, we just need to shift the context and say, Well, what if you were doing ABC for different people? You're a musician? Yeah, I was perfectly happy playing six hours a day playing guitar six hours a day by myself in high school. And then it was like, Alright, this is this sucks. I want to be in a band I want to go perform. And then it was like, that's great. I'm getting tired of playing for a room of 1015 people, I want to play in a larger room, right? It's like we it's about expanding that, that sense of we, and that that sense of us are all of us. And but it was never like I didn't like music anymore. It was like where's the context? I want to share the music in this different context. So same thing with podcasting. Same thing with any of our work is coming back to you. Okay, where is it more meaningful for me? And maybe I can, I can leverage all the tools, all the experiences, all the all of the ways that I can help others in a way and then ultimately it comes back to me and it's reborn.

Russ Johns 29:44
Yeah. And especially when you get to that point where it's not all about what I want, it's about what can I give, you know, what can I pursue in expanding this to help other people and I think that's where, you know, you start getting into the meaning and legacy and everything around it. So, well, Tripp this has been a phenomenal conversation and I'm glad that we had an opportunity to connect and catch up and, and I look forward to future conversations as well. I would love to follow you follow the podcast and like and subscribe and all the good things that social media tells us we need to do. And is there anything else that we can do to add value to your day and, and move you forward in your world?

Tripp Lanier 30:30
You know, I think if you've enjoyed this conversation, then you'd probably get a kick out of the book that I wrote, this book will make you dangerous, you know, the idea is to go into some of these deeper ideas, but to do so in a way where you can have a laugh and enjoy yourself at the same time.

Russ Johns 30:43
That's fantastic. And as always everyone like and subscribe and please share this with someone you know, this might be just the trigger that allows somebody to believe they can do something better. They could do something greater, they can support someone else in their in their environment and their relationships. And it's really important for me to offer amazing conversations to you, and share this information with you. And so, and it's reason, #kindnessiscool, #smilesarefree and I want you to #enjoyyourday. Thanks Tripp.

Tripp Lanier 31:21
Thanks, Russ. I appreciate it.

Exit 31:22
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