Catch Jay Abassi on the #PirateBroadcast - russjohns

Catch Jay Abassi on the #PirateBroadcast

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​Russ Johns 0:02
Welcome to the #piratebroadcast, where we interview #interestingpeople doing #interestingthings where you can expand your connections, your community, #kindnessiscool and #smilesarefree. Let's get this party started.

It's a fabulous day. I hope that you are having a wonderful opportunity today to actually think about what you're going to do, how are you going to do it? Today, we're going to be talking a little bit about mindfulness. A little bit of how we can actually improve our lives with just paying attention to some things I brought my coffee mug #kindnessIscool mug out, got you today. Today we have #interestingpeople doing #interestingthings and today is no different. If You're watching the show live. Thank you all the gratitude in the world for you being here whether you're on YouTube, Facebook, LinkedIn, or Periscope. Also we got Jay in the room. Good morning Jay. How are you doing my friend?

Jay Abbasi 1:15
Good morning I'm doing really well. It's a beautiful day here in New Jersey and happy to be here with you Russ. How are you?

Russ Johns 1:23
Oh, fantastic. Fantastic. Jays already been out for a walk. He's had his morning routine going on and I got my gratitude routine on apparently I can't talk and also we were talking before the show about some of the things we're thankful for and grateful for and for those that don't know you, Jay, give us a little sidebar on who you are, and how you help others in what you're doing today to find some joy in your day.

Jay Abbasi 1:56
Yeah, who I am big question. I'm a father, I think I'd like to mention that when people ask me, because I think that's a big part of who I am. I'm someone who has experienced a great deal of ups and downs, just like all of us. I think that my experience has molded me into who I am today. I've had events throughout my life that have shaped me, right. Oftentimes, those events are tough ones, right? Years back when I had I suffered a loss suddenly my dad passed away was it wasn't he wasn't sick, it was a heart attack. I think that was one of the moments right? We all have these moments.

That was one moment that changed the trajectory of my life for us. That led me to find mindfulness and from finding mindfulness, and it wasn't for anything outside of managing through the grief. What I found was that it helped me to be a better human being a better father, a better worker leader, a better friend, and propelled my life and changed my life completely, to where it led me to start working at a company like Tesla, working my way up there. Now I'm at a point where I'm saying, okay, I want to bring this to the world, I want the world to understand the benefits that mindfulness can have for them in both their personal life and in the workplace.

Russ Johns 3:21
It's interesting that you say that because so many times this has been my experience. I can't speak to everyone and I don't want to generalize. However, in my experience sometimes we lose track of being mindful and self aware, because we're so focused on the goal that we imagine we need to achieve. What I mean by that is the American dream. Big house, big cars all these things two kids and a dog or whatever happens. Be in your idea of this dream. Sometimes we lose track of mindfulness, we lose track of our self awareness. It really becomes a burden in our life. The dream becomes a nightmare. Without going after mindfulness, it's sometimes challenging. Have you had that experience? I mean, working at Tesla has to be a little bit of a challenge a little bit of a competitive environment at times. Did that spark or create or build awareness around? Why mindfulness is important?

Jay Abbasi 4:42
Yeah, that's a really good question. I struggled with that.

Russ Johns 4:45

Jay Abbasi 4:45
I struggle with that a lot. Russ, I think, in a very competitive sales environment where I started, and then I got into the training department, and it is the next goal and then the next thing and If you will let that happen, you're lost. you're just going through the motions with this expectation that, Oh, I'm going to be happy when I get there. Then you get there. Then you're like, Oh, this is nice for a little bit. Now I'm only going to be happy when I get there. Then when does happiness actually happen? When are we really content? When are we okay with the present moment? I think that, yes, I've experienced it. What I think is the solution is a required practice.

Just like we go to the gym every day. Well, we're not really going to the gym right now because of COVID. Right? But if we were to be going to the gym, we would or exercise I should say, going for a walk, doing push ups, whatever we do, right? If we do that every day, and we have that consistency, then we're not falling so deep into those mindless autopilot type of mindsets. We're remembering to Stay present. So I'd say the practice is important. A type of mindfulness practice is really important, as well as giving yourself little breaks throughout the day to remind yourself not to fall too deeply into the motions of I'm just getting to the next thing,

Russ Johns 6:17
The trap of the dopamine rush of level. That little rush that Oh, yeah, that lasted for a few minutes. However, mindfulness is a practice like you saying, you can practice mindfulness and really achieve, I think a better outcome. Like you're saying, you have better relationship with your family, the people you work with, yourself, being able to monitor what you're doing in life and how you're pursuing your next goal. Do it with mindfulness. I think it's really important for us to understand how it works, how have you discovered your path and in this because I know you have a course coming up, and we'll talk about that Little bit. However, I know that it's not necessarily just something that you wake up and say, Okay, I'm gonna, I'm gonna unpack my mindfulness today. How's your journey evolved over time after after a competitive environment? Working in sales and training and all these kinds of different activities you've experienced?

Jay Abbasi 7:19
Yeah, I think the you described it as a practice has been, what it's been like for me where I had to try different things, you find ways in which it works for you. What I've developed is kind of my own version of a practice that works for me. What I think when I'm inviting anyone who is thinking about, oh, maybe I want to be more mindful. Maybe I want to be more self aware. You have to practice different things and experience different ways in which you can practice mindfulness to find what works for you, because there isn't a one size fits all. There isn't Hey, this is the way to meditate or this is the way to be more mindful throughout your day.

It's just that no you are you. I am me. Everyone's different. We must find what works for us. For me, Russ, it took a lot of trial and error. It took reading this book, then that book, then this one, going through this type of guided made meditation and this one and that one, and now I have my practice that works for me, that grounds me Because ultimately, Russ, what are we trying to do? We're just trying to focus on the present moment, focus our attention on the present moment, objectively, with acceptance and without judgment. However, it gets us there. Right. That's all we have to do.

Russ Johns 8:40
I love that. Being in the moment, say that again

Jay Abbasi 8:46
Yeah, focusing our attention on the present moment, objectively, with acceptance and without judgment.

Russ Johns 8:55
I think acceptance is a key word there because Far too often we get in this trap in our minds that is really about coulda, shoulda woulda. I should myself all over, it's just like, you have things that you don't control or you don't have control over, you kind of need to have acceptance. You have to accept that you don't have control over you, you don't have the ability or opportunity to make those changes immediately into your life. You could take steps in the right direction. However, it's not necessarily something you can change overnight or immediately. Being in the moment and accepting that is. I think, so important and so key. Thanks for sharing that. Are there some practices that you've discovered that work for you that might help some others in the community here?

Jay Abbasi 9:53
Yeah, I mean, the very common way in which you hear people practice meditation is through the breath. The breath is a great anchor in in finding the present moment, I should say this rediscovering the present moment cause it's always there for us. Right? I think before I even can get into the technique, I think what's important, I'm going to touch on acceptance a bit because before you even get into any type of practice, there are three things that I think everyone needs to have. We need to have an intention. We need to know what we're going, what are we an intention without expectation, that's important, like I intend to be calmer, I intend to get some insights into myself, I intend to be in the present moment, whatever that intention is, we set that without expectation.

The second one is, of course, we have to remember that this is about attention. It's not about thinking about having attention. It's about our attention being on the present moment, objectively, like we're watching a movie, right? We're just looking at something right attention. The third thing is non judgement. We can't be judging ourselves the way you described earlier. I can't do this. I should be doing it like that. Whatever. Right. Once we get that down, some techniques would be observing the breath in a way in which you're watching, you're noticing. I like to advise people to have what I call a focal point.

The focal point is, maybe it's your lips, maybe it's through your mouth, maybe it's your nostrils, but somewhere where you always notice the air going in and out, flowing in the flowing of the inhale and the exhale, there's just a point that you always feel and just keep your attention on that area. Just notice what's happening. That could be a simple first practice that one does for two, three minutes to start a day. You don't have to start by being 45 minutes going up into a cave wearing an orange robe. That's not what you need to do. Right? Just take two minutes on a sofa and just observe your breath going in and out. Just watching it.

Russ Johns 11:50

Jay Abbasi 11:50
And see what happens. Then from there, just like any other habit, right, you expand on it over time.

Russ Johns 11:55
Yeah. I want to go back to intention a little bit because intention is Really, for myself a little bit of a double edged sword and I want to expand on this, because intention in the moment is different than the intention in life. We have goals we have, like you could create a vision board or put things out in the universe and you say, I am going to reach this goal in this amount of time, and our intentions are what drive us toward that goal. Sometimes, and this is kind of, like a challenge I play in my own head sometimes is this idea that every day I'm going to improve the person that I was from yesterday that's my intention. Every day I learned something new.

I reach out to somebody I attempt to communicate with somebody that's part of why I do the pirate broadcast is to build this community of people that are thinking about, something positive in the world, something that can grow and expand #smilesarefree is a statement about the intention. If you give a smile away, almost always you get someone back and it's it doesn't cost anything and it doubles every time. Right? That's one kind of intention. The other intention is longer term. It's like I intend to have a new house in next year, whatever it happens to be what your intention is. Sometimes it's counterproductive because you focus so much on future intention that you miss out on the moment. Right. I don't know if that's just me or if other people think about that, or if you want to, I'd love to hear your comments on that and kind of expand on it a little bit and how we can separate the future intentions versus intention is of the day.

Jay Abbasi 14:02
Yeah, and this is fascinating to me. I'll tell you why I get really fascinated by words. Because words are conventions, words are understood differently amongst everybody who listens to them. When I hear the word desire, you hear the word desire, except that might lead to a different understanding, right? It's just we're trying our best to use signposts to bring us to an idea. Okay. Right. I think what I hear you saying is something I recently mentioned on LinkedIn posts about desire is another way of kind of saying, I have something that I want in the future, right?

I intend to get something, maybe we can even say I have a desire to get something. There's two different ways in which desire or in this way we're saying that intention can be flavored. There could be the flavor of it, where if I don't get this, I'm not happy. That's a craving, right. There's a clinging to the result, that desired object that I want the object of my desire is what I need in order to feel fulfilled, that is unhealthy. I think that if I'm hearing you, right, that's what you're saying that's an unhealthy desire. Because in that we're not present. We're always thinking about what we want next. But the different The other way to do it

Russ Johns 15:19
Just to clarify that is there have been many times in my life where I thought, because we don't know the outcome of our efforts, your trainer, and when you train somebody, you train them for a specific outcome. However, as an individual that has an idea about what they want in life. they pursue that goal. However, once they achieve that goal, it may not necessarily be the outcome that they thought they imagined when they first began the journey.

Jay Abbasi 15:56
I know exactly what you mean. That's where we fall into traps. Where we're so attached to what we think is going to bring us that fulfillment that we set out for. That's the unhealthy desire. The other way to approach the attainment of a goal because we should all I don't say should but there's nothing wrong with wanting to achieve in life. There's nothing wrong with wanting to get to a job that you're looking for to get that house of your dreams, whatever it is nothing wrong with it. When we treat it as an aspiration instead, meaning it's a preference. I would like to have this, but I'm happy right now. I'm okay. I'm content with what I am right now how I am.

I would prefer having this as a preference. This is something I would like, but it's not what where my happiness lives. It's not what I need in order to feel fulfilled. It's just something I want to experience. Now. What drives that? Right is your values, compassion, good. Carrying whatever that value system that is true to you is driving how you wish to contribute and what you wish to give to the world. Having that object or whatever that is, as a preference is, I think, then a very healthy way to approach, intention, desire, whatever word we're going to use. What we're saying here,

Russ Johns 17:23
Well, it goes back to your original point, words are important and the same word can have different impact. It can have a different impact on different people on where their perspective is coming from. I think though, the bigger point that I want to share with the community is that you you really have to be mindful about what your intentions are. You have to be mindful and aware that an outside thing is not going to bring the joy from the inside.

Jay Abbasi 17:56
Yeah, and that takes understanding the inside. Like one thing I say quite a bit is, if you don't go within, then you go without, you have to go within first you have to pull up that mirror and look sometimes for us. That's scary, man. Sometimes that's scary for people to do. I get that I have compassion for that. If we pull up the mirror, and we really look, and we really understand what's in there, and what's important to us, and who we are and our value system, we can then go outside of us to achieve what we really wish to achieve without facing unnecessary suffering.

Russ Johns 18:37
Yeah, as I just want to give a shout out to all the people in the community here, Andy is I'm content but this is not my preference. Great way to word it. I like that. Sherri lolly says if things are an acessory to the, life and not to the goal of life, we've all find joy

Jay Abbasi 18:59
Great way to finish it

Russ Johns 18:59
Great way to and Angie Ed. Francisco. gleam Sherry Lolly, thank you for being here. Good morning, Jay Russ. Good morning. Gabriel is here. Michelle is here. all of these individuals are a part of the community and I really find joy in the opportunity to share topics like this, Jay and I really love that breaking this down because it's I think it's important for us to really understand how we can actually find a little bit of calm in our life as the world seems like it's chaos right now and I think more now than any other time in history, we really need to find a way to stay center ourselves. Breathing meditation walks living with intention living in the moment, some of these things are really powerful. What are some other things that come up in your mind as part of this conversation and kind of bring to the top and really feel powerful like we could share today. What's the superpower you want to share with with the community today?

Well, I think the way you just described their current situation, right, which is, there's a lot of uncertainty.


Jay Abbasi 20:39
We don't know what to expect next. People facing very hard times, people being furloughed losing their jobs, what's going to happen in the future, a month from now two months from now, if things don't open up the way they were right. All those things are real.

Russ Johns 20:56

Jay Abbasi 20:56
What I think mindfulness helps us to do reach a state of equanimity. That word has meant a lot to me. It's been very powerful. The way I think of equanimity is no matter what's happening outside of us and we have that inner peace, that inner calm inside of us. That way, we're not being reactive to the stimulus that faces us. Whatever that stimulus whatever the stimuli might be, if that's a trouble at work, if that's a personal issue, it doesn't mean we don't respond. It doesn't mean we're robots, and we just be beep, right? Just like act like nothing's happening. What mindfulness will allow us to do is create the space that we need. That space between Viktor Frankl really put it well in his book, Man's Search for Meaning the space between stimulus and response.

I think that ultimately, that's what mindfulness does, it creates the space between stimulus and response for us to be able to look at both the stimulus and how we're reacting objectively and then Be able to respond in a way that serves us and serves those around us. Techniques like meditation techniques, like going out for a walk, and just experiencing the walk with your phone back at the house, and you're just experiencing nature and you're just looking and you're just enjoying it. You're just getting, just using your awareness to observe everything around you. Things like even journaling is a technique that I think helps with this because it centers you, right. If we do these practices regularly, then no matter we're able to go into the storm and not be affected by and I know I experienced that a lot of Tesla. There was a storm brewing every day at Tesla. I'm sure those who still work at Tesla, my colleagues there, they're still going through it. If you can keep that composure throughout my friend Wow, you that is a superpower.

Russ Johns 22:54
Yeah. I think it's really important for us to observe How we're feeling about it because a lot a lot of times, it's not what happens to us, it's how we respond to what happens to us. If we're centered, and we're mindful, and we're aware of cause and effect, react and response, and some of these things that a lot of people get so upset about, and they just explode, which I've never really understood completely. I just feel that life would be so much easier for so many people if they could learn this skill and appreciate and understand that it doesn't have to end up in chaos. It doesn't have to end up in in conflict. It doesn't have to end up in a lot of chaos. I just really applaud you and the efforts you're making on this and so talk a little bit before we wrap up a little bit about what You're working on, and how people can receive some of what you've learned along the journey that you've been on for a while now.

Jay Abbasi 24:11
Yeah, appreciate that Russ. I've been putting together everything that I think would help take such what is perceived oftentimes as something very complex, and simplify it in a way that is digestible. Get the understanding of the application of the basics of mindfulness, and how to be resilient through these challenging times through an online course. The online course is tailored specific to the professional environment because a third of our lives are spent at work. If a third of our lives are spent at work, we need to be able to manage through what we face in the workplace. My online course is going to be available hopefully in July. doing my best to get it ready by July.

It's going to be video content, interactive games activities, it'll be a lot of fun. I've taken everything I've learned and how to create an entertaining training program, which is something I've done for years now and into the space of mindfulness. The way in which, if anyone's interested in checking it out, my website is Jay They'll find everything that they need to know right on the website, and they can join the list for when that course will be ready.

Russ Johns 25:27
For anyone listening also, as always, you can find this broadcast and this message in all the links to Jay's site activities on RussJohn's.Com. You can go back there and look out if you want to get signed up and connect and make sure if you're not connected to Jay as well. LinkedIn is probably a good source to connect any other platforms. You're on Jay, you want to share with us.

Jay Abbasi 25:56
Yeah, to be real vulnerable with you and everybody else on here, right? I am not really great with other platforms. I don't have much going on outside of LinkedIn right now. I probably should. But LinkedIn is

Russ Johns 26:08
No Judgment here

Jay Abbasi 26:09
Alright. LinkedIn is my I think of it like an extended family. The community on LinkedIn is incredible. LinkedIn would be the best place to connect with me.

Russ Johns 26:20

Jay Abbasi 26:20

Russ Johns 26:21
I think it's really as we wind down the week and people, some people have weekends. My days are kind of like the routine of every day. I do. Pause the show over the weekend, because a lot of people do take the weekend. I really find it fascinating to discover what people are doing and how people are thinking about the world and it's really refreshing to have you hear Jay and talk about mindfulness and meditation and some things like that. I'd like to continue To bring those topics to the table and and make sure that people understand that there is value. There is a goal. It's not necessarily, you know, to buy a new car with your mindfulness or anything like why it is a skill that has to be learned. I just really appreciate the fact that you're here and you're bringing value to the table.

Jay Abbasi 27:26
I appreciate it. Man, thank you so much for us. This has been a wonderful conversation.

Russ Johns 27:30
Yeah. If you have one thing to leave with the community, what would you like to wrap up and leave with the community because I want to leave some nuggets of knowledge here as well.

Jay Abbasi 27:42
I would say listen, we're all we all have our dreams. We all have our desires. We all have things that we want in life, but you experience all of it through this, and it is crazy to think that we don't take five minutes 10 minutes In a day to take care of it. So I would encourage you, I would invite everyone to just give yourself that self care. So that way you can best serve the world and live the best life.

Russ Johns 28:12
I love that. I love that. Well, Jay, you got any big plans for the weekend now?

Jay Abbasi 28:18
Huh? big plans for the weekend. I will be working the entire weekend. Russ. That is my schedule man. I was a Wednesday I homeschool for the whole day my eight year old my little girl and so I don't have that Wednesday's like a weekend day for me. I still work a little bit. For the most part, I don't so that way Saturday ends up being a full work day. Sunday will be like a half work day. Outside of that I'll be spending time with my girlfriend. I'll be spending time with my daughter and just hanging low and hanging at the house probably watch a movie or something. That's it about you.

Russ Johns 28:51
Yeah, I'm a caretaker for my parents. I'll just be caring for mom and dad and taking care of them and makingsure their okay. I've been a remote worker for over a decade. I do have client work and I do have activities and I'm also launching #thepiratesyndicate. Just like I do the #piratebroadcast, I have #thepiratesyndicate where I produce the show for everyone start to finish all of the promotion in advance, promotion in after the post show, social media, the production, the podcast, the transcription, everything that goes into it. I've been crafting this platform and I have some clients on board that I will be getting ready to launch a few more shows. That's a big passion of mine is allowing people to share their voice to be seen, to be heard to be talked about in a positive way. That's my big push for the weekend.

Jay Abbasi 29:57
That's wonderful.

Russ Johns 29:58
continue to work on that. Then next week I got another show. The oil and gas network in Houston is doing a big podcasting event. I'm helping them produce the show. I got some activities coming up and helping several businesses out. It's exciting times,

Jay Abbasi 30:17
That's great helping other people to share their voice. That's awesome, my friend. It's great.

Russ Johns 30:22
Thank you so much, Jay. I really appreciate you and all of the work and stay mindful and helping others stay mindful or learn about mindfulness and everyone do have some self reflection and take some time out for yourself. You deserve it. You are important and we love you. Go out, enjoy the weekend, Joy the day Have a fabulous Friday and a wonderful weekend. Then we'll see you next week because I'm gonna say Jay, #kindnessiscool. #smilesarefree. So you #enjoythe day.

Jay Abbasi 31:04
All right. Take care, buddy. Thank you.

Russ Johns 31:08
Thank you for joining the #piratebroadcast. If you found this content valuable, please like, comment and share it across your social media channels. I would love the opportunity to help others grow in their business. #Thepiratesyndicate is a platform where you show up we produce the show. It's that easy. If you want to be seen, be heard and be talked about. Join #thepiratesyndicate today.

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