Catch Jenny Toh on the #PirateBroadcast™
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[00:00:00] Introduction: Welcome to the #PirateBroadcast™, where we interview #interestingpeople doing #interestingthings. Where you can expand your connections, your community, #kindnessiscool and #smilesarefree. Let’s get this party started.
[00:00:10] Russ Johns: Good morning.
[00:00:11] Jenny Toh: Hi. Yes. Yes. Good evening. Over here in the morning to you, Russ.
[00:00:15] Russ Johns: Yeah, she's over in Singapore today. We're going to be talking about introverts, helping introverts and also about a little bit of how you can actually get your true north and find your compass and maybe find your purpose in life. And some of the things that Jenny has brought to the community for other women and individuals that are looking to align their goals in their life. Jenny, you're an attorney in Singapore. How are you doing? Tell us a little bit about what's going on in your world.
[00:00:48] Jenny Toh: Things are looking better here. If we're talking about COVID we're still having restrictions so not like where you are, where I think it's freer now. But I think with the population being over 77% vaccinated, now I think there's some leeway for things to get back to how it used to be, but everyone's trying to find what their new normal is. So we're good. My family's good. Thanks for asking Russ.
[00:01:12] Russ Johns: Yeah. Cause it's important in a global economy now, and I consider this as a, I have had guests from all over the world and continue to interview people all over the world and it's just amazing to see that we're all the same, we're all concerned about our family. We're all working through different challenges and we're going through this process. And as a result, you have had a calling that you really want to help other people in the coaching arena and specifically about finding their true north. We were talking before the show and I love that idea and that concept. And how did you think about starting coaching and how did you get involved in coaching and what was the process that you went through to discover your true
[00:01:59] Jenny Toh: It wasn't a straightforward journey. I think we all have our stories. So I was first exposed to coaching in 2015 when I was managing a small team, the organization put together like a two day crash course in coaching just so that we can be better managers, Russ. So that's when I was first bitten by the bug. And personally I believe that I am a good listener. This was even before the coach training that I, friends and family members used to come to me for advice because they feel that always very grounded, very practical, very level headed. That's one aspect of me. So anyway, I have a full-time job and I have three kids and I was thinking, okay, nowis not a good time to go into something like this. I've got a stable job. Why rock the boat? I think a lot of us, we cling onto security and I didn't pursue it. And years passed then came around December, 2018 when I felt this desire to really do it. And it's a feeling that came up so strong. I couldn't push it away and I'm a Christian Russ, so I believe that this is what God has put in my heart. And like what I shared with you earlier, what God puts in your heart, you can run away from it. You try it. So it's like 28, then that's three years. So if I leave it love prayer, a of discussion with my husband I looked for a coach training program. Went into one and I did it virtually because I couldn't find a suitable in-person cause this was before COVID when I'm still very old school. I still want to sit in a classroom. So I stepped out of my comfort zone, did it with an Australian school and they had a global student presence, really enjoyed my time and it's amazing because once you're passionate about something, things fall in place. I took classes in the morning. I told my kids, mommy needs to go into a call right now. Bedtime would have to wait a bit. So that's a lot of support from the family. And without knowing that COVID was around the corner, I plan to launch my business in April. Last year, April 2020, that COVID hit us in the earlier part of last year. And I asked God, so now what, do I still put it off? And, I just felt the sense of peace. Not without fear. There is still this sense of peace, knowing that God's got me in this, I want to be okay. So I went ahead with it and people say, are you sure this is a good time? But I went ahead and did it and the business has grown. I'm very thankful. There's still ups and downs as with any entrepreneurial journey. But I'm very grateful every day for the experience.
[00:04:32] Russ Johns: Absolutely. Absolutely. It's really important for us to understand that there are times where it may not feel comfortable or easy and it's still necessary. And it sounds like that's what you did in the process, allowed you to expand your business and grow your coaching and talk to more people and help more people. What kind of satisfaction do you have when you have a coaching client that you see that breakthrough and you see that light bulb go off? What's the experience like for you?
[00:05:02] Jenny Toh: It's amazing because I sometimes can see the block before the coachee, the client, and it's not for me to tell you Russ that, oh yeah, you have a block in this because it's not empowering you. If someone else tells you you need to discover yourself like that light bulb moment. And then it just gives me pure joy. And I believe that once you yourself experience that aha moment that awareness and you bring it back and you live your life changed everyone around, you will experience that positive ripple effect. And I just love that. It's like you touch one person and then one person goes on to touch another person. And it's just amazing.
[00:05:42] Russ Johns: It's the ripple effect. And I was talking with Randy McNeely and Eliya on a program yesterday about how when you put something out that's positive and you influence an outcome that is positive, it continues to ripple through the community. And I love that you said that because it's really about how we can make a positive impact when we're, cause you've been raising kids, you've had a family, you've done all this work. You're a busy individual and still you're actually going the extra mile and helping more people do great work. So that has to be very satisfying. Thank you so much for doing it. I appreciate that.
[00:06:25] Jenny Toh: Thank you for saying that. Thank you for saying that.
[00:06:28] Russ Johns: I want to talk a little bit about the the process, because you mentioned the idea that you're not necessarily telling people what to do, but you're helping them discover what they need to do for themselves. And that's a very unique, that's different. So walk through that and expand on that a little bit.
[00:06:49] Jenny Toh: You can say that I hold up the mirror for you, Russ to look at yourself. And when we are talking and when I ask you questions and I make observations, you may hear your story, your situation from my voice. And somehow hearing it gives you that insight and that awareness. So I also see myself as your accountability partner. I am not saying that I'm your mentor, which means I know more than you know, that the coach wouldn't say that. And neither am I your counselor, so I don't come in and deal with an emotional hurt or trauma because I'm not a trained counselor. Hats off to the people who can do that. So a coach actually believes that you are already in a good place. Probably you're blocked and you're stuck. And sometimes you just need support from someone who gives you that safe space without judgment. We were talking about building rapport and, Russ, you may tell me things that you don't tell your family because your family is always too keen to give you their opinion. So I listened, I don't know your life and except for what you tell me. And I hear what is your heart's desire? Yeah. What's coming up. So it's like putting up a mirror for you to see.
[00:07:59] Russ Johns: Sometimes we can't see because we're so close and we're so in it in ourselves and you can't see a perspective that other people see and that's so common. Is that something that you notice in clients a lot in terms of your discovery process?
[00:08:17] Jenny Toh: Yeah. So it's a interesting that you bring that up and example came to mind. So naturally of course, anything that happens in a coaching session is confidential. So I can't share the details, but I can share the new ones. So I have this female client, she kept using the word should. I should do this. I should do that. And she didn't realize she was using the word should, so I just reflected to her. I said, in a five minute conversation you used the word should like 12 times. And that just stumped her. She was like, why am I shoulding it? So she's got all this possible external expectations that she put on herself and maybe even internal that she needs to live up to a certain standard. So just that simple reflection to say, I heard you say should 12 times, like you said, you're so in it, you don't even know the nuances of your vocabulary.
[00:09:05] Russ Johns: Yeah. And sometimes we get so busy in life that we forget how much how much we project. It had been into other people. And I know that what I'm thinking of is that sometimes people just like to talk. They just like to expand some ideas and they may not necessarily want to want it to go anywhere. It's just conversational talk and I think. When we talk to ourselves and we have that, self-talk in our head. There's really, it's really great to think about having a coach to turn the mirror on us and say, do you realize that you're even doing this? Cause a lot of people don't realize what they're doing in that instance. And and it's important for us to understand that. How does that process work after they discover that WhatsApp? What's taking place in their head.
[00:09:53] Jenny Toh: Let me take a step back and touch on what you say. So coaching is not a conversation like what we're having now. So the reality is in a coaching session, the coach probably when he speaks 20% of the time. So I give you this space and I am just listening to you say, so there is a process. You come into a coaching session with a particular issue. In mind, and we will explore what you want to get out at the end of the coaching session. So you may have a big goal, but of course you can cover a big goal in half an hour or one hour. So we'll break down to what's the most immediate thing that you want to walk away with that could put you in that forward momentum towards your big goal. So once we establish what the coaching goal is, that's when we begin the conversation and we explore what comes up for you. And during this process, you may have awareness or you may feel that your beliefs may be challenged at that point in time as well, to give you that different perspective.
[00:10:50] Russ Johns: Do you find that you illumination. Some characteristics that people don't recognize they even have.
[00:10:58] Jenny Toh: That's true. Yeah. I can hear that. I can hear you're really a high achiever for them naturally they say, oh, I just want to be. I want everything to be perfect then, I'm okay. What's coming up. That does everything needs to be perfect. I'm a perfectionist myself. So it's quite easy to spot that. And I guess one of the difficult challenges I face as a coach is whether I get too attached to the issue and had if I'm very familiar with something, I do need to be aware of myself and say, Hey, Jenny, Past your judgment on this situation sounds very similar to what you're going through, but it's different because everyone's journey is different. So it's that? Self-awareness that I have that. Oh, okay. Is this okay? Bias that I'm bringing here? Am I, judging beforehand? That, and I stopped myself and I bring my attention back to the client and then sometimes, I always say, Hey, Rob, Thank, you may be a bit hard on yourself here. No, one's really expecting you to pull all this long hours and why don't you practice a little bit of empathy on yourself and then the awareness comes like, no, I can't practice empathy on myself. Everyone's looking at me to really do this. Then you realize that actually what's going on here.
[00:12:09] Russ Johns: I love that. I want to give a shout out to a couple of people in the room. I know Marcia's there, Elise. Good morning. Good afternoon, Russ and Jenny. Thank you so much. Hi, Michael Baker's here today. Love the fact that you came and joined us. Sierra says let's connect. Absolutely. And Michael Baker says, we are all humans and need to follow what's in our hearts to fulfill our purpose in life. Absolutely. Michael, thank you so much for that statement. And thank you again, Jenny, for being here and sharing this because it's so important for people to understand that they have an answer, they have a way and a journey out of some of the challenges they might be experiencing. Howard Kaufman says, appreciate the clarity of intent and focus.
[00:12:59] Jenny Toh: He was referring to the coaching process. I think. I like what Michael said, that, we live our lives according to our purpose. And what you say just now, Russ, we're so busy we're so in the moment of what we're doing, or sometimes too overwhelmed that we don't take a step back. Why are we doing what we're doing in the first place? Sometimes people say that we're just busy for the sake of being busy. So it is not selfish, I believe. And sometimes I also, forget that, it is important to take that step back and then to reflect why am I doing this? Why am I running my life coaching business? What's the purpose here. And when I reconnect with my purpose, my compass, my true north that's when I get re-energized. And even though I'm speaking, I'm an introvert, right? Russ I'd have most, if I'm speaking to people after person, if I really do not need that time to recharge, but I also feel very energized when I see an impact our, an insight that person received just by the coaching sessions.
[00:13:55] Russ Johns: I love that. I really, I get excited because I talked to a lot of people that are coaches for me, and they don't actually know their coaches, but they provide me with feedback in #inspiration in different ways. And, I have, I've had a lot of coaches over the years in, and I really gained a lot of insight. On my own personal journey and it's not, it's always different. It's always a unique, personal kind of experience for me. And I just really get excited about other people providing this service and helping so many people. And it's something that. No, you'd have to be called for, because it's not for everyone. It's not something that everyone can do.
[00:14:38] Jenny Toh: That's contrary to what social media says, Russ. I'm sure you guys have seen on Facebook you know how to be a life coach in 16 hours. That is really a, I think that's a marketing scam. My own coach training lasted for more than a year. And I'm credentialed with international coaching Federation, which actually imposes a very high level of ethics on the credential coaches. I'm proud to say that, I went through the whole process learned a lot, myself, grew a lot myself, and I'm just sharing that with my clients as I coach them.
[00:15:13] Russ Johns: What's the biggest change or aha moment that you had during that time.
[00:15:18] Jenny Toh: So it's definitely a lot of self awareness. That one, I am actually a perfectionist. I knew that all along, but it's reflecting that and see how that comes up. So when I was doing my coach training, I also had a bit of imposter syndrome because when my mental coach said, who can now tell me, put up your head that you're a coach. And a lot of us like hesitated because we only met Wade for our training. None of us wanted to put our head and say, yes, I am a coach. Then he told us. You already, all coaches, it's just that your journey is probably at this end of the spectrum. Whereas he is, he says he's a dinosaur. So he's already at the other end of the spectrum. And that made me realize, why am I comparing trying to be perfect with other people because social media is really. Damaging the is extent. It's helpful, but if you get too involved in it and cocky, comparing yourself, you feel that you're not good enough. Then I realized that I should be comparing myself to my own journey. Am I better today than yesterday? And that's what I tell my kids, when they say, oh, mommy, I feel I'm not that good and all that. I always remind them to compare themselves today as compared to yesterday. Improved a bit. Have you done something nice to someone today? And that's a good reminder for me as well. Actually, I believe that my kids are my greatest teachers because they keep me real. They'll keep me real. They be like, mommy, what are you doing on YouTube? Amazing.
[00:16:44] Russ Johns: Yeah. So funny. And it's so true at the same time. Michael says, no one is as smart as everyone. We can all learn from each other and you can't compare somebody's, 20 year journey with your first-year journey. Every musician has a sour note when they first start out. So you have to understand and be patient with yourself and that's part of the self-discovery I'm sure. Yes I wanna mention to people that you have an opportunity that, you, people could sign up and get a coaching session from you in an experience, this process. And where would they go to do that, Jenny?
[00:17:22] Jenny Toh: I can see you've put up all the social media so they can connect with me, but I have a website. So it's called riverlifecoaching.com. So you can just hop over there and book an appointment with me. So it's a complimentary 30 minute discovery call where you can experience a short session of coaching, come with a topic that you want to get unblocked on, see how it works. Cause a lot of people feel that, what is coaching about? Some people think it's just getting advice. Some people think it's mentoring is it's not that it's really this amazing process where you are given that space to slow down, to reflect. And then to see your inner strength and resource.
[00:18:01] Russ Johns: I love that. I'm going to take you up on that. I'm gonna, I'm gonna book a 15 minute session.
[00:18:05] Jenny Toh: Then we'll see how the time zone works time, Russ. I think that's the biggest challenge.
[00:18:10] Russ Johns: I'm okay. I'm okay doing late at night or early morning. So we'll figure it out, but I'll kind of slot that. Do you have a booking, a schedule right on there?
[00:18:20] Jenny Toh: Yes, there's an appointment that you can call my Calendy so they can just hop over and book a time. Yeah.
[00:18:26] Russ Johns: It's really been a great experience to have you on and as you mentioned before, the start of the show, this is your very first live stream.
[00:18:34] Jenny Toh: Yes. I think it's going well. What do you think, Russ?
[00:18:37] Russ Johns: I love it. I love it. But that's the point of this? That's the point of the #PirateBroadcast the #PirateSyndicate is it's not about pirates as much as it is about...
[00:18:47] Jenny Toh: I see the pirate flag in the back.
[00:18:50] Russ Johns: The treasure. It's the treasure we could discover along our journey, Jenny. My theme is #kindnessiscool and #smilesarefree, so it's really about helping other people and taking this time together and being part of the community. So if you haven't connected with Jenny, you can go to LinkedIn. Like she said, all of the links are in the social posts. You can go out there and discover a little bit more about her coaching, her conversations, and some of the things that you're sharing out on in the world today. It's amazing. I want to shift a little bit and think about, we're going through this world pandemic kind of process. And a lot of people are struggling with not necessarily long-term impact, but there's some short term confusion and challenges. So are you noticing a trend? Is there anything that is coming up on a regular basis that people are struggling with that we could maybe give them some advice and some suggestions on how to work through that today?
[00:19:52] Jenny Toh: Yeah. A lot of people, myself included... let's wait until, I can't do this right now. Let's wait until, things set up and then you realize all that waiting, I think it's going to be some way more before things settle. So instead of fighting it, instead of holding off, instead of holding your breath and wait until everything's over. Brief and just really come and accept what's going on. So I do have low periods myself because my family is not my extended family, my parents are not here in Singapore with me. I haven't seen them for two years in person, so I have to accept. It's okay. They are well, and let's make the most of what we can with what we have right now. Aetna put on an attitude of gratitude. It's not easy because there are days when we feel that. Why can't we just get on with life? I don't want to wait. So I love my clients. I can't make this decision right now. It's too difficult because I have so many things that's uncertain. So I just bring them. What small step can you take? Despite all the uncertainty, what small step can you take just to move out of your comfort zone, just one step out. And then as you realize, when you move out of comfort zone, one step that becomes your new comfort zone. Then you move out another step and your comfort zone increases. And before you know it, you're in a totally new level of calm. And you've grown. So it's all about growth. So I think accept the feelings that you're going through. So I'm not saying put on a fake, I know it's a #smilesarefree. By all means smile, if you generally feel happy, but on days that you're low, that's fine. Except it you're only human. Like what Michael said. And we all have emotions. There is no right or wrong. The worst thing is for you to suppress it. And that's why people tend to just have outbursts of anger. It's too much. You suppress it too much, so make sure you have some. Russ, I know you're doing good work here, putting the community together. And then people are bouncing ideas. Make sure you have support. You are not alone. I think in a way, one great thing about COVID is we all realize no matter where we are, if we talk about COVID and experienced someone is going to say I've experienced that before. I know sometimes it's bad news, but you're not alone. Russ, Jenny, you're not alone. We've all experienced some shape or form that has changed our lives.
[00:22:05] Russ Johns: We're all going through it together. Absolutely. I want to mention a couple of things before we wrap up today, Jenny. We do the #PirateBroadcast, were coming up on 500 episodes. We're going to change things up a little bit, make it a little easier. I'm going to have some alternative times for the #PirateBroadcast. So it makes it a little easier for people around the world to get on and join in. And also I'm doing Amazon live. I'm going to have Marcia Reece and a couple of friends, a pirate in the pirate community. Come on board on Saturday afternoon, I'll be putting some. I'll be putting some announcements out and people can join in to Amazon live. We're going to be talking about some of the products and services that Marcia's promoting and her Stay Well. I love her her stuff to continue to stay germ-free and I support her and I just want to mention that to the pirates because well, it's Friday and, I want to be able to share more with the pirate community so I can actually help and encourage you to do some great things. Jenny has shared some amazing ideas and recommendations and insight with us today. And so I really thank everyone for being here and Jenny as we close up today, I want to make sure that you have an opportunity to share what is next on your journey and where are you headed in? What would you like to see expand more of in the future?
[00:23:31] Jenny Toh: I definitely want to coach more people and then impact them in what we were talking about ripple effect and all that. And I want to also grow my group coaching program that's to have that peer support right now. I know I'm very passionate about one-to-one coaching. You just have me as your coach, but I've also started doing group coaching programs where like-minded individuals come together probably to work on something. Quite similar. So like a big topic, but each one of them will bring something different and that they can be their own accountability partners. And I think that's very exciting, right? There's only one Jenny, all these people, four or five of you come together and then you get energized and then I can like, let you guys go. And if you form a little pot and then before you know it, I have another group and then they can form the pot. So that's when we, I love this repo. And I'm quite excited about it. I've done three groups so far and it's been going well. So I'm really hoping to expand that as well. Yeah.
[00:24:27] Russ Johns: I'm so happy that you joined us today and we finally got to catch up online and actually share some of your experiences in some of the talents and gifts that you bring to the table. So thank you so much for being here, Jenny.
[00:24:39] Jenny Toh: Thank you, Russ. Thank you. You've been very generous. Yes.
[00:24:42] Russ Johns: And pirates, thank you so much for being here. I really appreciate you, all the #gratitude in the world for everything that you bring to the community. And connect with Jenny, make sure you reach out, encourage her to continue to support other people in her community. And as always, #kindnessiscool, #smilesarefree, so you #enjoytheday. All right. Thank you everyone.
[00:25:09] Jenny Toh: Thank you bye-bye.
[00:25:10] Russ Johns: And have a great weekend. Take care.
[00:25:12] Jenny Toh: Bye.
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